I'm sitting here, taking a break for a little bit from the list of stuff I need to accomplish tonight - the cleaning, the chores, the laundry, watching Grey's Anatomy on dvd and reading the international news online again, and praying...
Here are some of the headlines catching my attention tonight:
Canada to Provide Emergency Assistance to Kenya
Where Kenya is on Fire
Kenya's Humanitarian Crisis Grows
Deadly Floods Hit Southern Africa
Can Tutu Heal Kenya's Wounds?
Burma Marks Independence Day
Friday, January 04, 2008
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Still Tired
I'm still tired, though in a less soul-numbing exhausted sort of way...
Sleep remains an elusive thing, full of dreams and moments of wakefulness. I was explaining to someone today how, over the course of years of sleeping poorly, your body adapts, and you learn what it is to function at a competent level with only 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night.
I talked about how the periods in my life when sleep seems the least are always the ones where it seems I could use the sleep the most. The ones where I'm walking through intense things personally, or walking alongside some really broken and messy people.
I explained, too, how in the moments when I most need the strength to meet with someone who's broken, in those moments when I know that there is nothing of myself left to care for that person, the strength is always there. Just in that moment, Jesus always sends just enough energy, just enough words, just enough patience and wisdom and discernment. And when that moment ends, the strength usually goes with it... and that's okay too.
So, I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and trying to get 8 million things accomplished before my last day of work on Tuesday, and before I leave Calgary on Thursday and fly out on Friday, but I'm going to be okay. Because the strength is there in the moments when it's really important, and the rest of it, well, it's just stuff, and the world won't end if my laundry doesn't get folded immediately, or if my dishes aren't washed right this second.
Sleep remains an elusive thing, full of dreams and moments of wakefulness. I was explaining to someone today how, over the course of years of sleeping poorly, your body adapts, and you learn what it is to function at a competent level with only 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night.
I talked about how the periods in my life when sleep seems the least are always the ones where it seems I could use the sleep the most. The ones where I'm walking through intense things personally, or walking alongside some really broken and messy people.
I explained, too, how in the moments when I most need the strength to meet with someone who's broken, in those moments when I know that there is nothing of myself left to care for that person, the strength is always there. Just in that moment, Jesus always sends just enough energy, just enough words, just enough patience and wisdom and discernment. And when that moment ends, the strength usually goes with it... and that's okay too.
So, I'm tired, and I'm stressed, and trying to get 8 million things accomplished before my last day of work on Tuesday, and before I leave Calgary on Thursday and fly out on Friday, but I'm going to be okay. Because the strength is there in the moments when it's really important, and the rest of it, well, it's just stuff, and the world won't end if my laundry doesn't get folded immediately, or if my dishes aren't washed right this second.
Updates...
I've updated the list of "People and Things I Like" in my sidebar. I added a number of blogs I've been reading regularly the last while. I thought some of you might like to check them out too... but mostly, I put them there so it's easier for me to get to them!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Exhausted and Clouded Judgement
I'm completely spent again, and I can't really explain why. There's no particular reason, no particular thing that happened, I'm just spent, and I think tears are coming before the end of the night.
My judgement feels cloudy, my perspective warped. I'm tired, and nervous and over-emotional and over-thinking.
The fears are coming in hard and fast.
Funny how these sorts of nights happen.
I think I'm going to bed. Bed, a novel, maybe some tea. Then hopefully I'll sleep - the whole way through a night, preferably without dreaming.
I'm spent. And my judgement is clouded. I'm going to bed.
My judgement feels cloudy, my perspective warped. I'm tired, and nervous and over-emotional and over-thinking.
The fears are coming in hard and fast.
Funny how these sorts of nights happen.
I think I'm going to bed. Bed, a novel, maybe some tea. Then hopefully I'll sleep - the whole way through a night, preferably without dreaming.
I'm spent. And my judgement is clouded. I'm going to bed.
Crazyness!
Just stopping in for a minute on my lunch break. Life is looking a little crazy from now until the moment right up until I leave.
People to see. Errands to run. Dozens of things to accomplish at the office. My temporary replacement to start training tomorrow. All sorts of things that have sat by the wayside for the last few weeks of busyness to catch up on. Cleaning to do.
Feeling slightly frazzled, and like I'm moving in 17 directions at once. Not loving the feeling, but knowing that it's really short term!
Later!
People to see. Errands to run. Dozens of things to accomplish at the office. My temporary replacement to start training tomorrow. All sorts of things that have sat by the wayside for the last few weeks of busyness to catch up on. Cleaning to do.
Feeling slightly frazzled, and like I'm moving in 17 directions at once. Not loving the feeling, but knowing that it's really short term!
Later!
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