Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 55

Today's Daily 5:

1. 1 year, 55 days of making these lists!
2. cracking up while wandering around in the "farmstead" section of the historical village I visited with mom's cousin today, and hearing a sudden yelp of "Oh my god" and looking up to see a young man about my age who'd obviously been caring for the pigs in the pen, sprinting for the gate.  Clearly he'd managed to inadvertently aggravate the pigs, and there were about six of them chasing after him.  It was hilarious!
3. spending a bit more time with mom's cousin
4. making an impromptu trip to Ikea to stock up on candles and buy frames for a few art pieces
5. eating potstickers for lunch, and dipping them in sweet chili sauce
6. The smell of the old fashioned bakery at the historical village
7. wandering through the village with mom's cousin, and talking history (basically, letting the geek in me out to play!)
8. having an iphone to have easy access to some many things
9. I can now add to my list of experiences that I have literally had a pair of earrings cut out of my ears with a wire cutter by my dad.  That whole scenario made me laugh too.
10. Talking movies and books over dinner

And on again...

It was a short night anyway.  The kind where I was up too late, because I got home late, and then turned my attention to a number of things, and I was up too late, knowing I needed to be up kind of early this morning.

I wasn't sleeping in my own bed.  It seemed easier to stay at mom and dad's, knowing I'd be home late, and need to be back at their house early.  It was easier to sleep here, than to try and get home late and then navigate an early morning bus on the Saturday bus schedule.

I don't usually have vivid dreams when I'm not in my own bed.

But I did last night.

Processing dreams.  Too much on my mind.

I dreamt of Kirsten.  She and her husband James are walking through the valley of the shadow right now.  Today is the funeral service for Ewan Eliezer.  Kirsten's words this week have been powerful, and yesterday morning, as I watched the slideshow in this post she wrote, I sat and wept for this family that I've never met, but whose life I've shared a little, online.  I wept as through the beautiful images a friend of their family took, I got to sit with them as they said goodbye to their son.  And today, this afternoon, I'll be praying for them as they attend the funeral for Ewan Eliezer.  I dreamt of Kirsten, images from some of her posts this week, and I woke praying.

I dreamt of other things too.  Of a challenging situation I find myself in the midst of right now.  Of so many things that require some thought and prayer.  The snarky, feisty person who was laughing because it was really the only choice other than cry before going to bed went into hiding overnight, apparently.  She'll come back, at some point, but I woke tired, and heavy-hearted.

the kind of day where I reach (and I rarely reach) for over the counter painkillers to numb the headache before I ever crawl out of bed.

Not really wanting a day filled with people.  I want a day of holing up somewhere to pray and think, and maybe wallow just a little.

But, in a moment, I'm going to crawl out of bed, and in half-an-hour I'm going to walk out the door, and set aside the dreams for the morning at least.  I'm going to spend the day with people and choose to enjoy them, to enjoy the things we do, even when everything in me wants to spend the day as a hermit.  Because that's my choice too.  To set aside those moments and just be.  To shake off the remnants of dreams.

and on it goes...

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 54

Today's Daily 5:

1. letting worship music flow over me as I sat in the car on the way to mountains today
2. eating baby cucumbers
3. throwing rocks into the creek, and giggling at the sound of their splash
4. listening to mom's cousin share her testimony at a ladies event
5. a long chat (and lots of laughing) on skype with a dear friend.
6. catching up with J, my former roommate, at length after the ladies event tonight

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 53

Today's Daily 5:

1. A slow, lazy morning
2. Walking to do errands, and loving the crunching sound of the fallen leaves under my feet
3. scheduling a job interview for next week
4. Leftover Vietnamese food for lunch
5. make your own pizza night at housechurch
6. laughing with house church friends
7. managing to catch up on some important stuff with a friend who'd been away for a while
8. collecting a really good hug
9. laughing at the incongruity of the guy sitting next to me on the bus who was screaming "non-conformist" and "anti-establishment" with his hair and clothing choices, and yet was sitting next to me playing solitaire on his smart phone.
10. chatting and laughing with the cashier and bag girl at the organic grocery store I stopped at to get some fruit for the week ahead
11. buying a few pretty things at 10,000 Villages to make my living space happy
12. finding the exact item I needed at the dollar store, instead of the more expensive office supply shop
13. a pretty decent day for one that didn't have my usual built-in escape plan

How to Fill a Day that Doesn't Hold an Escape

Every so often my parents very justifiably ask for a day when I don't invade their home in an effort to escape the crazy living realities of my own place of residence.  They need a day off and time to themselves too.  They generally give me a few days notice that on such and such a day, I need to make other plans.

Today is one of those days.

I've learned to make lists.  I spent a vast portion of yesterday jotting things down every few minutes or hours, as one sort of "oh, I should get that done" or other would cross my mind.  The list has far more on it than I can realistically accomplish in a day, but that's kind of the point. 

Options are important on the days when it is harder to escape the place I reside.  On the days where I can't just set up camp somewhere else with ease.

I came home last night and rearranged furniture, too.  The dvd drive on my laptop has been dying a slow death for a while now, and seems to have finally given up entirely.  That was having a serious impact on my ability to watch dvds while reclined on my bed.  I fixed that problem last night with a little bit of rearranging.  I moved my television and dvd player to someplace where I can see them while comfortably reclined.

I hung my map of the world back up last night, too, and began the process of sticking pictures of people I love and pray for up around the map.  I hung that where I can see it from my bed too.  (I spend a lot of my evenings sitting on my bed, propped up against the headboard, especially since I sold my couch and loveseat before my last move.)  One of the things I loved about the home of the friend I stayed with in California was that there were pictures of the important people in her life everywhere in her home.  I hadn't bothered to hang much of my art, or even to get new photos printed since I moved in here.  It was survival mode, and I figured why bother hanging stuff if I wasn't going to be staying?  But, I'm still unemployed, and I still don't know about school, and I can't make decisions about moving until those things are sorted out.  So, I'm going to get pictures printed, and put them up around the map.  I want the people I love around me right now, reminding me that I love and am loved in return.

Other things on my list of possibilities for a day that doesn't contain an easy escape include things like filling out Canadian and American passport paperwork, doing yoga, painting my toenails, attacking a mound of filing of important papers that I've essentially ignored for the last couple of months, just adding papers to the pile, reviewing my latest booksneeze freebie (a dvd this time), working on a new project I've been doing, calling my bank, making a pot of tea, doing some reading, sorting and cleaning and purging, trying a teeth whitening sample I recently ordered, stitching up a hole in something, and sewing on a button, watching some television on dvd, taking some photos of my crazy living situation, doing some exercises from a book I'm reading, and ordering photos to be printed online.

And, I'm going to head out to a store called 10,000 Villages.  It's a fabulous store, and I'm looking for a couple small, colorful, items to bring a larger taste of the world I can't afford to travel to right now, to my living space.  Things that will add life and color and warmth to this odd place that I inhabit.

I told you there was too much to do.  But the options are helpful.  It means I can evaluate what I feel like doing, instead of just having to pick something from a list I'm not excited about, for the sake of keeping busy.

And with that, I'm going to crawl out of bed long enough to grab the muffin I set aside for breakfast, the supplements that need to be swallowed with that breakfast, and then I'll eventually get up and walk to 10,000 Villages, thus getting some exercise in as well! 

I'm off to begin the process of filling a day that doesn't have an easy escape... I'm sure it will be an adventure all it's own!