Saturday Thoughts

Yesterday was the feast of St. Monica, and today is the feast of her son, St. Augustine.  There was something striking to me in closeness of the dates of the two feasts when I observed them this year.  Something striking in celebrating the feast of a mother who prayed for years for her wayward son the day before celebrating the feast of the wayward son, turned remarkable theologian and church father.  There is something in that reminder of the faithfulness of Monica's prayers that gives me hope for prayers that seem hopeless today.    Something in the reminder that God delights in drawing the least likely to himself, and binding up and restoring the most unexpected things and people.  There are a lot of "least likely" things that I'm praying for these days, and the closeness of the two feasts, the reminder of the faithful prayers of a mother brought hope today.

In a few hours I'm off to attend the wedding ceremony of a friend.  F. has been a friend for a very long time, and the her life and her family's life have been in upheaval in the last year.  Two weeks ago, after a journey of about a year, her family was told that her mother's cancer is no longer treatable.  That the only thing that will stop death now is a miracle.  I'm thankful that the wedding will happen today, while her mother is still relatively well.  And I'm praying for a miracle.  But also recognizing that this day, for their family, will probably hold bittersweet memories.  And I'm praying that sweet will overwhelm the bitter.

And, in the meantime, I'm resting, puttering, catching up on little things that were put off all week while I studied.  I'm thinking and praying and processing.  I'm looking forward, and pausing to reflect backwards as well.  It's going to be a good day, I think.  One of those full of emotion, bitter, sweet, whole gamut of life kind of days.  And I'm grateful for that, and for the growing ability to embrace that.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 13

Today's Daily 5:

1. Staying in bed basically until lunchtime
2. New York fries with gravy.  really good gravy.
3. rest
4. candles everywhere
5. fresh fruit

Relieved

I'm still in bed.  And it's not because I'm sick.

For the first time in ten weeks, this morning I have no studying waiting for me.

And the relief is sweet.

This summer has been challenging as I studied, and began to deal with all kinds of personal stuff from my past that was also surfacing.

I wrote my last exam yesterday. and I'm spending this morning in bed.  Resting.  Thinking.  Praying.

Even my subconscious felt the relief, and even my dreams shifted gears this morning before I woke.  Towards all the personal stuff, now that the burden of studying has been removed.

And so, the journey continues.  And I'm committed to it.

But this morning I'm enjoying the relief of being done, and the feeling of shifting direction again.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 12

Today's Daily 5:

1. a good hair day
2. a mom who reassured me that it was okay to not be studying this morning if my brain just couldn't take anymore
3. being buoyed on the prayers of friends
4. supernatural peace
5. wearing a new scarf - a gift that arrived in the mail from Germany this week
6. the body worlds exhibit - very cool after studying anatomy for the last two months
7. writing my last exam and finishing up school for the summer
8. Vietnamese sub sandwich
9. house church
10. baby giggles

What makes you alive?

I am writing my last final exam today.  The anatomy exam that I've been worrying about, (and trying not to worry about) for the last week or two.  I have been reminding myself that I am doing this because I am moving towards a goal that makes me feel alive.

I came across this quote recently, and loved it.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

- Howard Thurman

What makes you feel alive?  Are you doing that?