Honest Scrap Award

Susan at Weaving a Life presented me with the Honest Scrap blog award today! I think that might be the first time I've ever gotten a blog award!

These are the rules apparently:

1. Tell 10 honest things about myself

2. Pick 10 honest bloggers to pass it on to

3. Tell who gave you the award in the first place

Well, I've got number three covered about with the link to Susan.

Ten Honest Things About Myself...

1. If you had asked anyone who knew me, even two years ago, if my preference for health treatments would be the most natural products available, they'd have laughed at you. It still makes me laugh to think about it almost every day as I'm swallowing one of the myriad (I think it's close to 15 pills - a variety of about six supplements) of pills that I take at any given meal.
2. I love my nose piercing, even two years on. I got it to commemorate the 2nd anniversary of my healing from depression, and that's still what it reminds me of every time I look in the mirror.
3. I'm not so keen on my latest piercing - a navel one I got about 4-5 months ago. I love the way it looks, but it's taking forever to heal, and is kind of getting annoying. If it's still like this at the one year mark, I'll probably get rid of it. (I actually think about taking it out probably at least twice a week.)
4. Mental illness doesn't scare me in other people, but is a terrifying thing in me. Every time things are a bit out of whack with me, I start freaking out, wondering if depression is returning.
5. I'm very slowly learning that God's gift of healing is a constant thing - that I don't need to freak out about the depression.
6. I'm also learning that that healing is not an excuse to not take proper care of myself. Thus the recent changes in diet and exercise habits, the attempt to sleep, and the myriad of supplements that I'm using to try and bring a restoration of the physical health that stress has totally trashed over the last two years.
7. I've made two "mission" trips in my life - both to countries that start with M. (Mexico and Malta). Both trips had a very shaping impact on my life. If you ask me if I'll ever make another "mission" trip, I'll probably tell you that it's unlikely. I do still love the idea of traveling and praying with friends though, and am dreaming of several trips like that still to come. (I've also learned to ask LOTS of questions about the trip before making it.)
8. I place an immensely high value on hugs. I really appreciate the friends who can get past the sort of distant, non-touchy north american thing, and express affection with a hug. I've also quite literally gotten on a plane and flown across the country just to collect a hug from a dear friend. (It was totally worth it.)
   
9. I pick almost all music based on the lyrics. Words are my thing, and if the lyrics don't move me in some way - if they don't make me laugh or cry, or deeply touch my heart, then I'm probably not all that interested in the song.
10. Email is one of my favorite forms of communication. But I've recently been feeling the limitations of it a bit as well.
    

Ten Honest Bloggers (really just some of my favorites - since most of the blogs I read are very honest - that's why I love them! In no particular order, and keeping in mind that a lot of my favorite honest bloggers are not exactly known for blogging on any kind of regular basis, but there's great stuff in their archives if you're willing to look!)...

1. LP/CA (a private blog, but one of my favorites)
2. Ian at Shallowfrozenwater
3. Dana at Ofwoolandwater
4. Alliedearest at The Grey Albatross
5. Hootenannie
6. Claudia Mair Burney at The Ragamuffin Diva
7. Hope
8. Renee
9. Faye
10. Lisa at Let's Put the Kettle On
    

Lovely...

I had a lovely evening.

I met this long-time blogging friend, and we sat for two hours in a starbucks and talked.

It's been a long time since I've had a conversation that flowed freely and easily about the important things in life. About something more than the surface things. A conversation that felt free and honest (at least to me - since I suppose I can only speak for myself...)

It was for me a much needed gift tonight, after a long and wrestle-filled week. A soul-restoring thing.

And, while she couldn't have known it, I realized driving home that it was also a redemptive sort of thing for me to have that sort of conversation in a Starbucks. I've loved the tea and a few other drinks at Starbucks for a long time, but Starbucks has also been very tied to many of the struggles of the last year. So many funny and deep associations.

I didn't really think about all those things when we agreed to meet at a Starbucks. I didn't really think about it even as we were sitting there chatting. But as I was driving home, I realized that it was a redemptive thing for me. To have that enjoyment restored (even though I hadn't totally realized it was gone.)

So I'm saying thanks, to my friend for suggesting that particular location, and to God who somehow orchestrates the things I don't even know I need.

Reasons to Read Blogs

I read blogs to see what other people are thinking about, feeling, hearing, listening to, reading and doing. I'm invariably challenged by the things I read, and often hear the Lord whispering to various parts of my heart in the midst of reading those things...

Here are some bits and pieces that caught my attention this morning...

Ali Edwards linked to this book preview. "How to be an Explorer of the World." I liked paging through the preview and will probably order the book when it releases.

Brian Heasley shared these challenging words from Rick Warren.

And Hope posed the question that has rattled around my soul this morning. "Could you just get as weary of me as I am?" A question that reminded me of many recent moments, and a tribute to her spiritual director that reminded me of a dear friend of mine, one to whom I could easily have posed this question many times in this season.

These are only some of the things bouncing around a very full and active mind this morning, and I'm beginning to hope that words may once again take form, and I'll have new writing to offer you sometime soon.

In the meantime, enjoy the thoughts and ideas offered up by the community of blogs scattered around the world that I read on a daily basis.

Tuesday morning ramblings

In the last day, I've had blog visitors from locations scattered across Canada and the United States, Spain, Romania, Argentina, Japan and Indonesia. That's quite the international mix!

In October I had the highest number of visitors to this blog since it began. Thanks to all of you who stop by on a regular basis to see what I'm thinking about. Leave me a comment sometime and tell me who you are!

City transit made me twenty minutes late for work this morning. It took me an hour and 40 minutes to get in. And I even got to the train station a few minutes earlier than usual.

Faye has a brilliant post here. I've occupied the spaces she's talking about, and she speaks of her struggles with eloquence and grace and depth that I rarely found in the midst of those spaces. Faye doesn't post often, but when she does, her posts nearly always leave me breathless.

And with that, I'm back to work...

Re-reading

I've been reading through some of my blog archives this morning. I'm putting links in this post to some of my favorites - things that are still so close to my heart, and things that seem to express the things I was thinking and praying about with poignancy and clarity that grabs at me all over again when I re-read them.

The first one is titled "In that moment" and it is still my favorite all-time blog post. I've been thinking about that moment a lot again lately. It still comes back to me with deep clarity. There was something profound and disturbing in that time. Something that was both deeply encouraging and entirely frustrating. So much has happened in my life since then. So much healing, so much knowledge gained, and yet, as I look back, I wonder if there is any way to handle that moment other than what I did. I hope and pray that the presence of Christ drew near to her that day as I spoke words of desperation over both of our lives.

The Silence of a Muddled Mind - in mid-wrestle, a pause for Hallelujah.

Preaching for My Ears to Hear - a breakthrough moment that I still hold dear.

Poets Don't Go Mad... a favorite passage from G.K. Chesterton

The Kingdom ISN'T breaking through - One of the most important pieces I ever wrote, and a message I still speak out regularly. God in the tiny things, not just the huge moments. God in the dirt and the broken and the gutters.

From the Ashes - this one came after a beautiful night full of art and music, during which my friend Kirk Bartha preached a sermon that I heard with my heart instead of my ears. Such a moment of relief in the midst of a crazy season of life - that flash of knowing granted by the Spirit to give strength to walk just a bit further.

Keep the Weight On - a brilliant excerpt from an article on redemption and the cross by Dan Haseltine that was published in Relevant Magazine. Worth reading. This contains one of my favorite quotes of all time. "We must confront our humanity and know ourselves as both the walking wounded and the perpetually healed."