Sunday, August 14, 2011

Craving Quiet

It's Sunday, just barely afternoon, and I'm home alone.

In a few hours, that will end, as family trickles back from the church "day at the lake" that they're enjoying today.

Lately I find myself craving quiet.  The only noises in my house right now are those flowing through the windows (a bit of traffic, a lawnmower, the occasional airplane overhead, a few birds), and the sound of my keys as I type.

Usually I prefer background noise, but lately, mostly I just want the quiet.  The only music I'm tolerating easily is the sort of stuff you'd hear at a spa... really gentle flowing sounds, mixed with nature - water and birds and wind.

I tried several of the things I normally enjoy on these quiet Sundays - watching a church service online from a church I love in California, turning on the food network in the background as I sit and putter online.  None of them lasted long.  Just quiet today.

I think my soul is craving some stillness.  Some soft ways to soothe pain and restlessness. 

I'm leaning towards a day spent reading and resting.  I have several books that I need to make some progress in.  Some for personal growth, some for pure interest and entertainment, some because I simply made a commitment to read them.

I'm needing to tackle some journaling that has been on hold, and to quietly sit and plan the coming week - making sure to create the time and space necessary for the self-care and quiet that my spirit seems to be craving in greater abundance right now.

So, quiet it is.  For now anyway.

I slept a bit late, and then laid in bed reading, waiting for the house to empty, and giving myself permission to not need to know exactly what was going on, to simply rest and wait for the quiet to descend.

I sat and read a number of reflections that Christianne wrote, that had been collecting in my google reader all week - waiting for me to have the quiet space to absorb them, allowing her words, reminders and reflections to rest and stir in my heart as I sat here in the arm chair, talking quietly to Jesus.

And now I'm going to read, to eat a little, to write and pray, and maybe even nap again.  To embrace quiet until my soul is satisfied, filled up again, and ready to re-emerge.


Amy Nabors said...

I find my spirit in need of the quiet when I need to recharge and often times when God is trying to teach me something. Hope you have a restful afternoon. I think reading & napping will also be on my agenda.

christianne said...

Oh, Lisa, I'm so glad those posts provide a window into quiet prayer for you. They do the same for me to write them.

Your craving for quiet sounds so much like mine. I need the quiet so much. A lot of noise is unsettling to my spirit, I find, more and more.

As I read this post, I found myself wondering if the increased need for quiet is somehow connected to the hour of disconnection you've been incorporating into your nightly routine for a while now ... do you think there's any connection there?

Lisa said...

Amy - I didn't end up napping, but I did get quite a lot of reading done, and it was lovely. I stayed in the quiet until late afternoon, when my family arrived home.

Christianne - every so often, yes, I do need quiet. And yes, more and more I do find too much noise unsettling.

As for the nightly hour of disconnection - I'm not sure. I think that could be part of it. I also think the greater intensity and pain in some parts of my personal life - that increased chaos - are also driving the increase in my need to create and sink into quiet. The increased internal noise is creating a lower tolerance for external noise. But yeah, that nightly hour of more disconnected quiet is also creating a greater desire and space for that quiet.