In keeping with yesterday's post, I have another link, this time to a cartoon from NakedPastor.
It struck me deeply when I saw it first. Largely because the last several days have been filled with the constant thematic reminder of God's deep love, for me, for his people, for the church, for the nations. My heart has been full as I realize all of this again.
Not full in a way where that love makes the problems, the agonies disappear, but full in the way, that, like the "prayer from the cell" that I linked to yesterday, the reminder of the layers upon layers of His love is somehow enough to bring rest.
I will never forget, somewhere midway through the seven long years I suffered from severe depression, writing a dear friend, also not from a particularly experiential circle of Christianity if she knew, really knew that God loved her, deep inside her, not just in a head knowledge sort of way. Her answer ("yes") surprised me, and spurred a quest of sorts. I had honestly believed that God's wasn't something that could truly be felt or experienced, and then I'd met people who said it could, spurring the question I asked my friend.
In the intervening years I have come to know that love in immense ways, in startling ways, in healing ways. I knew it first in the patience of friends who walked with me through depression, and then in that sudden and unexpected moment of healing. I've known it as I've journeyed through the nearly five years since that moment of healing, through loss of deep relationships, through shattered dreams, through moments of great joy and answered prayer. It has been a constant, an intangible constant, and somehow, that deep, constant truth, however hard it is at times to cling to, is enough.
And the cartoon? "Start with, 'He loves me'" is an image that rings in my heart right now. An only option. A gentle direction. A whispered shout. It moved me deeply, as it played up against the themes building and playing through my waking life, and my nightly dreams this week, and I'm grateful for it.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
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4 comments:
Lovely post, Lisa. Thank you for sharing. I loved NP's daisy cartoon as well (and, thanks to you that I even know about him!).
I struggle with this - really knowing at a deep level that God loves me. So, your post is an encouragement to keep seeking.
Best wishes
Jenny
praying that you will know that love deep within you today :)
Lisa
Been contemplating what to say about this since you posted it yesterday...even ignored it in email :-)
I remember having been asked the same question you asked your friend years ago...unfortunately I'm not entirely sure that person has really come to truly know in their heart that God really does love them.
Needless to say there are people are I wish would see this.
I suspect there are more people being blessed and challenged by your honesty in these morning posts this week than you're aware of - glad you're sharing!
LP#2
thanks LP :)
and yes, there are so many I wish could "really" see this as well... I guess that's what makes it an almost breathless thing for me - that I can see it these days, despite all the baggage and crap that had to be waded through... I think that gives me hope for all those others as well.
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