Thursday, January 14, 2010

Here's the Rub

I'm in a bad mood.

Partly because of the ongoing space of prayer and heavyness I feel.

And partly because of some decisions at the office this morning that are going to drastically affect my day, and with which I have some problems.

Here's the rub.

I know I can choose differently.

I can choose to be grateful that I have a job, and that my day will be very full (not that it wasn't going to be already, but you know...).

I can choose to not let the bad mood from work stuff be a factor in my day.

(Can't do so much about the heavy burden to pray stuff, other than pray.)

But I'm kind of enjoying my self-righteous snit.

I'm kind of enjoying feeling miserable because I KNOW I'm right and I think a decision is ridiculous.

And that's the rub isn't it?

Because that's hardly Christlike either.

And it's likely to grow and morph (I have a lot of experience with these bad moods) until I also resent the burden to pray, because it's infringing on my rights.


That's the rub.