Thursday, September 17, 2009

Wild Week, Thursday Morning

I have a collection of thoughts and quotes I'll likely share later today. Things that arrived in my inbox yesterday or today, carrying much needed encouragement.

This has been a bit of a wild week so far.

Since Sunday, the following rather wild and unsettling "big" events have happened (this is completely ignoring the myriad of smaller things):
  • I've been at the scene of a stabbing, and had the image of a blood spattered bike path rather ingrained into my brain
  • I received news that someone who has appeared a few times in dreams that have led me to pray received a cancer diagnosis, complete with an apple sized tumor, and is undergoing further tests to determine the appropriate course of aggressive treatment
  • I listened as a coworker began choking and nearly stopped breathing, saved only by the quick thinking first-aid skills of another coworker. I've had the sounds of her gasping to breathe and trying to call for help ingrained into my brain. I also dealt with the panic and adrenaline, and later the immense adrenaline crash that came with that event.

It hasn't been a great week sight and sound wise for someone rather susceptible to those things.

Sleep last night was disturbed. Dark things near me. It happens from time to time, and to be honest, in some ways, as exhausted as I am this morning, I'm encouraged, too, by the night I had. I was far less concerned through the course of the night than usual on these occasions, and actually managed to get some rest. And, this morning, the lingering fear and panic that also often come on the tails of rough nights like that are far diminished.

I am exhausted, but relatively peaceful. I have within me a growing trust that Jesus will draw near and hold me in those terribly dark moments.

I have, however, somewhat good naturedly, declared that today must be a quiet day. That it is not allowed to have any crises, because my body is not up to any more of those this week.

The plan is to do a few errands after work tonight, and then return to an empty house (my roommate will be out for the evening) and slap a clay mask on my face, and recline on the couch, watching some of the newest season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD, and painting my finger and toe nails. Time for a little self-pampering. (Also for drowning the very good natured jealousy I'm feeling towards a friend who is fulfilling one of my life-goals and seeing U2 live in concert tonight.)