Thursday, July 23, 2009


This has been the sort of week where I'm very aware of changing relationships.

Of ones that seem to have ended (whether that was what I desired or not).

Of others that have changed dramatically in time and tone and scope.

Where I've been remembering still others, lost in memories and prayers at moments.

Where every thing, every place, every moment seems laden with things that tug at heart strings.

I hit a wall of exhaustion today. A moment in which I simply went, "I need a vacation."

We have a long weekend coming up, but I will be spending it in transit to and from a wedding that will also be rife with memories and oddly shifted or tense relationships.

The weekend following that I've arranged for two days (a Friday and a Monday) off work. I badly need some down time. Time just for me, to rest and recoup. Time that (mostly) isn't planned, organized, or otherwise structured. Time where I can simply ask Jesus what we're doing, and spend the day with Him, being loved. Time to consider, to grieve, to recoup after all of the shifting that has taken place in my life this last while. And time to wait for new direction for the future.

I'm really looking forward to that weekend. But, for the moment, I'll just be glad to make it to the end of the work day tomorrow, and have some down time. This weekend is a bit scheduled and planned, with lots of people things that are sure to be a bit draining. But I'm working to also build in moments of rest. There always need to be moments of rest.