Friday, July 31, 2009

Revisiting A Heart That's Seen

I've been thinking a lot about this post this week - from very early this year.

Remembering how nice it was in the midst of exhaustion and panic to be surrounded by two dear friends who were both far away. How nice it was to have my heart seen, and to be encouraged. How lovely it was to be loved by them. (How lovely it still is to be loved by them.)

In fact, earlier this week I went back and re-read the online conversations I had with both friends that night. The circumstances of that particular panic spell are deeply ingrained in my mind, and were close to the surface of my memory again this week, as I dealt with some things involving the same approximate situation.

The words of one friend in particular from that night have been buoying me this week, echoing in my heart a bit. "You're a good woman, Lisa." This particular friend, who I get to see far too rarely given that we live in the same city, has often said variations of these sorts of things to me. And sometimes, sometimes they just make me laugh. But sometimes, sometimes those words buoy me, in the weeks when I'm feeling attacked, questioned, and unseen. In the moments when my heart is weary from the fight his words come back, and I realize this person whom I respect deeply, who I know to be a man who loves God and people, and a man who lives with a deep morality and integrity, respects me too. Even though he's seen me at my some of my worst moments. And that, that is deeply encouraging to me this week.