Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Bruised, Bumbling, but Smiling

Can someone please tell me how it is that bruises just randomly appear on my body? What on earth am I doing in my sleep that is causing bruises, but is not waking me up? I woke up this morning with three (albeit light and minor) bruises on my left forearm, spanning the arm, in roughly the shape of a triangle. (I try to do things geometrically you know...)

My heart continues to feel quite bruised as well. But (I hope) it’s slowly healing too. I was reflecting with a friend last night on one particularly intense weekend of conversations I was involved in at the beginning of the month, and realized that as difficult as it was at the time, I don’t particularly regret it, and there were moments of rest and healing in it too.

Life feels like a bumbling sort of ride at the moment. A number of things in transition. AGAIN. I’m moving at the end of June, though we haven’t yet found a place to live. I’m trying to sort out finances, and the reality of a likely rent increase, and the bigger reality that the raise I will likely get in September won’t likely even cover the rent increase. Things feel topsy turvy, and it has been difficult to find reasons to smile these last few days.

Last night a dear friend helped me find ways to laugh, and I'm grateful for that. It was so needed, and I went to bed and slept more peacefully than I have for most of the last week, and particularly the last couple of days.

This morning, by a gift of grace, I’ve landed in a place where I am conscious of many things that are reasons to smile. It’s a desperately needed gift, and one I’m so thankful for.

So, without further ado, here are some of the things that are making me smile:
  • fresh, homemade banana bread
  • string cheese
  • worms. I've liked worms since I was a child... the slimy way they felt in my hands, the tickling while they wiggled. There was a kid's song that went "worms after the rain, I guess they just love rainbows. Worms after the rain. I love each one of those sweet little, worms after the rain" We've had an abundance of rain lately, and I was out walking on Monday night, just after a week of rain finally drew to a close. I took great pleasure in rescuing a few worms from a fate of dried up death on the sidewalk where they'd crawled.
  • bottled water
  • the prospect of getting my hair cut and hi-lighted tonight, and basically being pampered for a couple of hours
  • long conversations with dear friends
  • a date for breakfast with my best friend next week, just before she drives me to the airport so I can go visit another friend
  • passion tea
  • thrift store purchases of three pairs of capri pants that are work friendly, and that fit my somewhat skinnier than usual body
  • the return of the sun
  • the season where flip-flops (or jandals as my Kiwi roommates call them) can be worn most anytime and any place
  • a bright orange gerbera daisy plant adding some color to the plant life on my desk
  • canned peaches
  • plans to have coffee and probably pray with a dear friend tomorrow evening
  • a restful night
  • a fun new novel I'm reading
  • an almost full journal, and the prospect of beginning a fresh one sometime in the next few days
  • a decent night (at least 4 straight hours!) of sleep for a change
  • a friend who took time to find ways to make me laugh
  • that it's Wednesday which means the week is over half-way done
  • progress on my work "to do" list yesterday, and likely progress again today
  • candles lit all over my bedroom
  • a favorite blanket to curl up in
  • kleenex - which I'm keeping in business during this very "teary" season of life, which also falls in the midst of allergy season!
  • left-over roasted chicken, potatoes and veggies for dinner last night
  • long, hot baths, and lavender scented bath bombs

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