Tired and other Sunday Afternoon Thoughts

I don't exactly understand how I can be nearing the end of three days in a row off of work, three days in which I cared for myself first, three days in which I rested and tried to restore my soul, and still be exhausted. I just don't get it. I even took a nap for an hour or so this afternoon on the couch. I never take naps if I can help it.

I'm going out in a hour or so to hear my brother's choir one last time for the year. They're performing at a church - a nice, big, anonymous church, where I can slip in for the service, sit by myself, and then meet my brother afterwards to get a ride home. It'll be an added bonus if I meet with Jesus in that time. I'd really like to meet with Jesus today. It seems, in some ways, that it has been a long time since I've managed to find myself in the presence of Jesus. It's not exactly true, but I'd like to meet with him to receive simply for me, rather than talking with him about the myriad of others for a bit.

There was a line in a novel I read this afternoon, "you artist types need to stop and refill the well sometimes." I feel like that today. I need Jesus to refill my energy and strength. I'm missing some dear friends, wishing for community nearby, and could just generally use an encounter with the Lord and his peace and rest tonight.

I taught Sunday school this morning. A lesson on Judas' betrayal, and Peter's denial. I'm not sure if my students found the questions the lesson posed to be challenging, but I certainly did, in light of things I've experienced and have been thinking about lately.

I'm actually really tired of teaching, and am counting the number of lessons left before summer, when I'm going to take a break from teaching and from church for a bit. However, I arrived at church this morning to discover that my dad's sermon was on "sexuality" and was extremely glad to be teaching. I've sat through the awkwardness of these sorts of sermons at least once in the past, and have sworn to never sit through my father speaking on said subject again. There are some things you just shouldn't have to endure as a pastor's kid, and listening to your father preach about sex is one of them. (Plus, because I sit with all of the youth kids, I not only have to endure my dad talking about sex, but the stares of all the youth, who are checking to see how awkward and embarrassed I'm feeling at the various comments.)

I'm trying to sort out my calendar for the next while. There are some friends I want to visit, and some commitments I'd like to be involved in. I'm still trying to figure out if I have the mental and emotional energy to be anything other than a hermit who sees only a select few people.

And with that, I'm going back to watching golf on television, to find some supper, and get ready to head out to hear my brother sing.