The day finally ended.
I'm done work for something like the next 5 weeks.
I'm doing laundry so that I can pack tomorrow and laying on a couch, trying to recover from a day without eating.
Gatorade is a girl's best friend sometimes.
Tired is a good descriptor right now.
Needing to accomplish some stuff, but not entirely sure I have the energy to do it all. Going to have to push through.
I'm at home.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Last Day at the Office...
The stress has finally kicked in fully and made me ill.
I'm sitting at my desk, working to not think about how completely nauseaus I am. Working to not recall the "tossing my cookies" way my day ended last night, and started this morning.
My temp - the one for whom today is my last day to explain some important information about my job - hasn't shown up, or called, or given any indication whatsoever why she isn't sitting at my desk, taking on my job, with me here just to give some last minute instructions and answer some last minute questions.
This is my last day at work. It can't end soon enough.
I'm sitting at my desk, working to not think about how completely nauseaus I am. Working to not recall the "tossing my cookies" way my day ended last night, and started this morning.
My temp - the one for whom today is my last day to explain some important information about my job - hasn't shown up, or called, or given any indication whatsoever why she isn't sitting at my desk, taking on my job, with me here just to give some last minute instructions and answer some last minute questions.
This is my last day at work. It can't end soon enough.
Enough Light for the Next Step - Henri Nouwen
Enough Light for the Next Step
Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, "How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?" There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let's rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away.
Often we want to be able to see into the future. We say, "How will next year be for me? Where will I be five or ten years from now?" There are no answers to these questions. Mostly we have just enough light to see the next step: what we have to do in the coming hour or the following day. The art of living is to enjoy what we can see and not complain about what remains in the dark. When we are able to take the next step with the trust that we will have enough light for the step that follows, we can walk through life with joy and be surprised at how far we go. Let's rejoice in the little light we carry and not ask for the great beam that would take all shadows away.
Monday, January 07, 2008
More from Henri Nouwen...
I got three more reflections in my email from Henri Nouwen today that I thought I'd share with you...
Living the Moment to the Fullest
Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else. Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.
Spiritual Choices
Choices. Choices make the difference. Two people are in the same accident and severely wounded. They did not choose to be in the accident. It happened to them. But one of them chose to live the experience in bitterness, the other in gratitude. Thesechoices radically influenced their lives and the lives of their families and friends. We have very little control over what happens in our lives, but we have a lot of control over how we integrate and remember what happens. It is precisely these spiritual choices that determine whether we live our lives with dignity.
The Gift of Friendship
Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories. It is a bond stronger than sexual union can create, deeper than a shared fate can solidify, and even more intimate than the bonds of marriage or community. Friendship is being with the other in joy and sorrow, even when we cannot increase the joy or decrease the sorrow. It is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love. Friendship makes all of life shine brightly. Blessed are those who lay down their lives for their friends.
Living the Moment to the Fullest
Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus, the end of the rain, the return of a friend, the resolution of a conflict. Patience is not a waiting passivity until someone else does something. Patience asks us to live the moment to the fullest, to be completely present to the moment, to taste the here and now, to be where we are. When we are impatient we try to get away from where we are. We behave as if the real thing will happen tomorrow, later and somewhere else. Let's be patient and trust that the treasure we look for is hidden in the ground on which we stand.
Spiritual Choices
Choices. Choices make the difference. Two people are in the same accident and severely wounded. They did not choose to be in the accident. It happened to them. But one of them chose to live the experience in bitterness, the other in gratitude. Thesechoices radically influenced their lives and the lives of their families and friends. We have very little control over what happens in our lives, but we have a lot of control over how we integrate and remember what happens. It is precisely these spiritual choices that determine whether we live our lives with dignity.
The Gift of Friendship
Friendship is one of the greatest gifts a human being can receive. It is a bond beyond common goals, common interests, or common histories. It is a bond stronger than sexual union can create, deeper than a shared fate can solidify, and even more intimate than the bonds of marriage or community. Friendship is being with the other in joy and sorrow, even when we cannot increase the joy or decrease the sorrow. It is a unity of souls that gives nobility and sincerity to love. Friendship makes all of life shine brightly. Blessed are those who lay down their lives for their friends.
Monday
I have one day of work left. One day to finish teaching my temp how to do my job.
Then I have one day to pack, and see a couple of friends.
Then I leave.
oooffff....
I feel like I have no energy left.
I should be doing laundry right now, but I can't get off the couch. I'm working up to it.
I had dinner with my family tonight. Said goodbye to my brothers, since I won't see them again before I leave.
Came home and put my pajamas on and am crashed on the couch watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy on DVD and catching up on email.
Then I have one day to pack, and see a couple of friends.
Then I leave.
oooffff....
I feel like I have no energy left.
I should be doing laundry right now, but I can't get off the couch. I'm working up to it.
I had dinner with my family tonight. Said goodbye to my brothers, since I won't see them again before I leave.
Came home and put my pajamas on and am crashed on the couch watching an episode of Grey's Anatomy on DVD and catching up on email.
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