I came across this trailer for an upcoming documentary. It both scared and saddened me. Mostly it saddened me. Do we really live in a world where our response to Islamic extremists using their madras's - their religious schools to indoctrinate future terrorists is to put our "christian" children into camps that do essentially the same kind of thing in an anti-terrorist, Christian extremist kind of way? And is that really any better? Maybe we could just agree that when it comes to religious beliefs, extremism seems to be dangerous in a bad way - not the world changing way that christians are looking for. Maybe we could try being extreme by feeding hungry people, actually stopping to listen to what others are saying, caring for the broken, intervening to stop abuse, caring for prisoners, healing the sick. Maybe it's like John Fischer said in a article I read a couple of months ago - we need to stop being "christian" counsellors, and nurses and doctors and executives, and just be really good at being counsellors and nurses and doctors and executives. We could be really loyal and honest, and genuinely interested in people's lives, and in peace, and maybe we'd make a difference.
I can't figure out how to embed the trailer for the film here, but go to this site, and watch it in the video section, in fact, watch all three clips that they have available. I originally just watched the trailer, but after watching the others I'm almost overcome with anger and sadness. Pay particular attention to how old it tells you the little girl who loves to dance is - what ten or eleven year old do you know that talks like that? When did children become pawns in a ridiculous non-war of the religions? Once you've watched them come back here and leave me a comment letting me know what you're thinking. I'm wondering if I'm the only one that this triggers an intense response for...
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Updating
Well, I don't have a whole lot to say. I've been doing a lot of thinking again, but nothing that I can share yet. If you want something worth reading, read Kirk's latest post, or anything Renee has written on her blog in the last month or so.
As for me, the ipod is working, and I'm loving the fact that I can now take all the music I own anywhere I want to go, plus, I can listen to sermons (which I did anyway) from Mars Hill in Grand Rapids, Mosaic in Los Angeles, and Imago Dei (my favorite of the bunch) on the train or bus. Which is great, because it's just in time for me to be commuting about 45 minutes each way by train or bus to my new job. And can I just say that while my church may not be the most stellar in the "teaching" department, any sermon Rick Mckinley at Imago Dei gives is generally worth the listen - challenging and helpful for growth. Or Rob Bell at Mars Hill - always a new perspective, particularly if you're interested in Old Testament. They've done a whole series over the course of the summer with a wide variety of speakers on Isaiah 61.
I went shopping this morning with Megs and bought some new clothes for work. Seems my business wardrobe was pretty limited after a year and a bit at the Bay which has a "white on top, black on the bottom, black shoes" dress code.
And I'm nearing the end of Season 4 of the West Wing and getting ready to start season 5. I'm still in love with the idealism. Anything idealistic really. Just wishing still for a way to translate ideals to reality. Asking for the Kingdom to come, on earth as it is in heaven, or, as Peterson translates it, "As above, so below."
As for me, the ipod is working, and I'm loving the fact that I can now take all the music I own anywhere I want to go, plus, I can listen to sermons (which I did anyway) from Mars Hill in Grand Rapids, Mosaic in Los Angeles, and Imago Dei (my favorite of the bunch) on the train or bus. Which is great, because it's just in time for me to be commuting about 45 minutes each way by train or bus to my new job. And can I just say that while my church may not be the most stellar in the "teaching" department, any sermon Rick Mckinley at Imago Dei gives is generally worth the listen - challenging and helpful for growth. Or Rob Bell at Mars Hill - always a new perspective, particularly if you're interested in Old Testament. They've done a whole series over the course of the summer with a wide variety of speakers on Isaiah 61.
I went shopping this morning with Megs and bought some new clothes for work. Seems my business wardrobe was pretty limited after a year and a bit at the Bay which has a "white on top, black on the bottom, black shoes" dress code.
And I'm nearing the end of Season 4 of the West Wing and getting ready to start season 5. I'm still in love with the idealism. Anything idealistic really. Just wishing still for a way to translate ideals to reality. Asking for the Kingdom to come, on earth as it is in heaven, or, as Peterson translates it, "As above, so below."
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Crazy Day
Yesterday was a crazy day. In a good kind of way.
I got to work a bit early, and was greeted with the news that I would be working by myself for the first four hours, and that my coworker would then be by herself for the last six hours. Someone out sick. Which is fine, except that we're crazy busy, and so we're further behind instead of being caught up.
I got a phone call yesterday morning. I've been offered, and have accepted a new job. I'll be working for a smallish property insurance company as a receptionist/secretary. A friend of mine is leaving the job in order to have a more flexible work schedule for a transistional time in her life, and she offered to reccomend me for her position. It worked, and I'm incredibly grateful. I start there full-time on September 12th. I'll work a half day and a full day there next week, inbetween my shifts at the Bay to begin learning the position.
I'm very excited about this. It's the kind of hours I've been looking for in a job for months now. 8:30-4:30, Monday to Friday. Evenings and weekends off. And better pay, and benefits.
We had my family birthday party on Monday night too. So, yesterday I took the birthday money I was given, in combination with some money I had saved for this purpose, and bought and ipod. We're having a slight technical difficulty involving our wireless internet connection on the basement computer, but as soon as that resolves, I'm good to go to put my music on there. Which is great, because in two weeks I'm going to be commuting about 45 minutes each way by public transportation to my new job.
So that was my day. I'm relieved that the job search is finally behind me. I'm grateful for the friend who gave me such a glowing reccomendation for her position. And I'm grateful to God for the provision of greater stability in my work situation.
And with that, I'm off to get ready for work at The Bay. Only two weeks left, and they're going to be BUSY! But that's okay, because it's only two more weeks! (Although I have agreed to work one weekend a month for them to help out. Plus, it lets me keep my discount!)
I got to work a bit early, and was greeted with the news that I would be working by myself for the first four hours, and that my coworker would then be by herself for the last six hours. Someone out sick. Which is fine, except that we're crazy busy, and so we're further behind instead of being caught up.
I got a phone call yesterday morning. I've been offered, and have accepted a new job. I'll be working for a smallish property insurance company as a receptionist/secretary. A friend of mine is leaving the job in order to have a more flexible work schedule for a transistional time in her life, and she offered to reccomend me for her position. It worked, and I'm incredibly grateful. I start there full-time on September 12th. I'll work a half day and a full day there next week, inbetween my shifts at the Bay to begin learning the position.
I'm very excited about this. It's the kind of hours I've been looking for in a job for months now. 8:30-4:30, Monday to Friday. Evenings and weekends off. And better pay, and benefits.
We had my family birthday party on Monday night too. So, yesterday I took the birthday money I was given, in combination with some money I had saved for this purpose, and bought and ipod. We're having a slight technical difficulty involving our wireless internet connection on the basement computer, but as soon as that resolves, I'm good to go to put my music on there. Which is great, because in two weeks I'm going to be commuting about 45 minutes each way by public transportation to my new job.
So that was my day. I'm relieved that the job search is finally behind me. I'm grateful for the friend who gave me such a glowing reccomendation for her position. And I'm grateful to God for the provision of greater stability in my work situation.
And with that, I'm off to get ready for work at The Bay. Only two weeks left, and they're going to be BUSY! But that's okay, because it's only two more weeks! (Although I have agreed to work one weekend a month for them to help out. Plus, it lets me keep my discount!)
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Slow typing
This is going to be short for two reasons. The first is that I'm going to spend some time reading, curled up with a new history of Christianity that I bought at a used bookstore the other day (a steal for only $22, and a huge volume written by a preminent Catholic theologian and historian) and a novel. The second is exactly what the title of this post says. I'm typing a little slow at the moment as I somehow have managed to sprain my right index finger, and it's in a splint that impedes my typing abilities.
I made a major decision regarding my church future this week, and sent an email notifying the appropriate person of the decision. I did it in the heat of a moment filled with frustration, and hurt, but it was a long time coming, and, to be honest, I'm just relieved that it's over. We'll have to wait and see how things play out the next while. It was necessary.
I think I'm coming into myself a little bit more all the time. At least I hope so. I feel a renewed sense of boldness. A confidence in the things I believe God has been speaking to me, and a willingness to more clearly and broadly express my concerns. I will probably never be the one speaking controversy in the midst of a crowd - it's more my style to address issues in small groups or one on one. But I feel emboldened to fight the silence I have lived under for much of these last months. I was reminded, as I wrote the email this week of something a friend wrote in an email to encourage me months ago as I was first beginning to express some concerns and to share the things I felt God showing me. He wrote that I had come out from under the blanket of heaviness, and I wouldn't allow anyone to put me back under it. That I had emerged, broken through, and now it was time to live that way. I hope that I'm living that now. I'm excited and scared for what's ahead, but I feel God's presence.
And so, my finger is aching, and I'm looking forward to reading, so I'm off. See you all soon!
I made a major decision regarding my church future this week, and sent an email notifying the appropriate person of the decision. I did it in the heat of a moment filled with frustration, and hurt, but it was a long time coming, and, to be honest, I'm just relieved that it's over. We'll have to wait and see how things play out the next while. It was necessary.
I think I'm coming into myself a little bit more all the time. At least I hope so. I feel a renewed sense of boldness. A confidence in the things I believe God has been speaking to me, and a willingness to more clearly and broadly express my concerns. I will probably never be the one speaking controversy in the midst of a crowd - it's more my style to address issues in small groups or one on one. But I feel emboldened to fight the silence I have lived under for much of these last months. I was reminded, as I wrote the email this week of something a friend wrote in an email to encourage me months ago as I was first beginning to express some concerns and to share the things I felt God showing me. He wrote that I had come out from under the blanket of heaviness, and I wouldn't allow anyone to put me back under it. That I had emerged, broken through, and now it was time to live that way. I hope that I'm living that now. I'm excited and scared for what's ahead, but I feel God's presence.
And so, my finger is aching, and I'm looking forward to reading, so I'm off. See you all soon!
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Leaking
It was one of those days. I was looking at the post I put up last night. The postcard from PostSecret, and feeling again how strong my internal reaction to that picture is. To the tears, and the words "I miss ignorance."
I had breakfast with Kari this morning. Somewhere along the way, Kari has become a very dear friend, and one with whom it is very easy to be honest and uncensored about the things going on in my life. I knew it was going to be one of those days when all she had to do was ask me how things were going, and I teared up. My emotions leaked right on down my face - it still surprises me when this happens. So I filled her in, swiping sureptisiously at the tears rolling down my face. The waitress came, of course, at the most inopportune of moments, just as the tears were beginning to take my order.
So we ate and talked, and somehow I went away encouraged. I still felt leaky as I sat in the mall for a bit before my shift and read. In fact, I even told some of my coworkers that if anyone yelled at me today I WOULD cry. (I've had a spate of nasty clients this last week - at least one a shift, badly dissatisfied with something or other, usually with nothing that had anything to do with me, and with a need to take out their pent up hostilities on the closest gift registry employee, which has just happened to be me this week.) Thankfully, today was a relatively calm day in the world of gift registry. By that I mean that we didn't have any yelling clients, not that we had any shortage of work.
I was discouraged, and I remain tired. But little things helped today.
As I walked to the train I couldn't help but think that the way I've been feeling lately is a lot like the way I felt during the majority of my five years of depression. But, some careful quick analysis revealed that I am not in fact depressed. I'm excited about life, I believe God is doing some really cool things in my life again, and the things I've been feeling have more to do with some spiritual attack, and the very real pain of walking through difficulty in the belief that God has great reward on the other side.
I read a really fun novel. It was called "Reconstructing Natalie." Nothing too profound. Very girly, quite predictable. A "Christian" novel about a young woman who is diagnosed with breast cancer. But quirky and offbeat and funny in its own way. It made me smile.
Talking with Kari, and snagging a couple of hugs from her helped. A chance to get some of the struggles off my chest. To catch up on what she and her husband are up to. Can I just say that I'm really going to miss them when they move in October?
Chocolate helped. A lot. (it's a natural anti-depressant you know! just in case you actually needed an excuse to consume it!)
And later, at work, some old hymns came to mind, and a few worship songs. So I hummed and whistled (in what I'm sure was a decidedly off key sort of tune) through the first verses (because I can never seem to remember the words to more than the first verse and the chorus) of "How Great Thou Art," "It is Well With My Soul," "Be Thou my Vision," "Amazing Grace," and a few others. Something about musing on the classic songs of the faith, with their deeply meaningful lyrics while boxing up china really served to lift my spirit and change my focus.
So, it was one of those days. In both the good and bad and altogether not completely sure what that was kind of ways.
I had breakfast with Kari this morning. Somewhere along the way, Kari has become a very dear friend, and one with whom it is very easy to be honest and uncensored about the things going on in my life. I knew it was going to be one of those days when all she had to do was ask me how things were going, and I teared up. My emotions leaked right on down my face - it still surprises me when this happens. So I filled her in, swiping sureptisiously at the tears rolling down my face. The waitress came, of course, at the most inopportune of moments, just as the tears were beginning to take my order.
So we ate and talked, and somehow I went away encouraged. I still felt leaky as I sat in the mall for a bit before my shift and read. In fact, I even told some of my coworkers that if anyone yelled at me today I WOULD cry. (I've had a spate of nasty clients this last week - at least one a shift, badly dissatisfied with something or other, usually with nothing that had anything to do with me, and with a need to take out their pent up hostilities on the closest gift registry employee, which has just happened to be me this week.) Thankfully, today was a relatively calm day in the world of gift registry. By that I mean that we didn't have any yelling clients, not that we had any shortage of work.
I was discouraged, and I remain tired. But little things helped today.
As I walked to the train I couldn't help but think that the way I've been feeling lately is a lot like the way I felt during the majority of my five years of depression. But, some careful quick analysis revealed that I am not in fact depressed. I'm excited about life, I believe God is doing some really cool things in my life again, and the things I've been feeling have more to do with some spiritual attack, and the very real pain of walking through difficulty in the belief that God has great reward on the other side.
I read a really fun novel. It was called "Reconstructing Natalie." Nothing too profound. Very girly, quite predictable. A "Christian" novel about a young woman who is diagnosed with breast cancer. But quirky and offbeat and funny in its own way. It made me smile.
Talking with Kari, and snagging a couple of hugs from her helped. A chance to get some of the struggles off my chest. To catch up on what she and her husband are up to. Can I just say that I'm really going to miss them when they move in October?
Chocolate helped. A lot. (it's a natural anti-depressant you know! just in case you actually needed an excuse to consume it!)
And later, at work, some old hymns came to mind, and a few worship songs. So I hummed and whistled (in what I'm sure was a decidedly off key sort of tune) through the first verses (because I can never seem to remember the words to more than the first verse and the chorus) of "How Great Thou Art," "It is Well With My Soul," "Be Thou my Vision," "Amazing Grace," and a few others. Something about musing on the classic songs of the faith, with their deeply meaningful lyrics while boxing up china really served to lift my spirit and change my focus.
So, it was one of those days. In both the good and bad and altogether not completely sure what that was kind of ways.
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