Free Evening

I'm looking for some way to spend my evening. I spent last evening with a friend, and then cleaning. I was supposed to have house church tonight, but apparently it's been cancelled... I hate when we cancel it. I really miss the chance to hang out with God and my friends all at the same time.

So, if you've got a good evening idea, give me a call... or send me an email! I'll probably do the usual reading and writing that I tend to devote huge chunks of my free time to, and I'll probably be near my computer off and on. I may do errands, or I may go and watch the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie.

More doors opened again yesterday in regards to the opportunity that has so recently presented itself to us. Makes me smile and laugh in bewilderment every time I think about it! I can hardly believe I'm even considering it, and yet, God seems to be leading in that direction. It's one of those things that seems to make all kinds of sense on the heart level, and hardly any sense at all on the head level.

It reminds me of these lyrics from a Jason Upton song that caught my attention again on the weekend:

It's more of what we need, and less of what we know
It calls not to our minds, but cries out to our soul.

It makes me smile a happy, bubbling, secret smile!

A crazy idea... and a couple other random thoughts

So, I'm still thinking and praying about the crazy opportunity that so suddenly came about on Friday night. The friend and I who are involved are sort of surprised at the responses we're getting as we begin to float it to our friends. I think, we, or at least I, really expected at least someone, if not everyone, to simply look at us and tell us it was a crazy, stupid idea. And that would be that. We'd simply move on to other things. But no one has said that to us. No one. Most people are surprised, but almost everyone responds the way one friend did last night - "I could totally see you guys doing that."

Huh. Okay. Well, the decision doesn't need to be made for a while yet. So we're going to take the advice of another friend and keep speaking the idea out to God, to our friends and families, to our church community and to each other, believing that doors will close and the opportunity will die if it is not where God is leading us. It seems to be a surreal idea, but, at this point, albeit only a few days since the opportunity so surprisingly arose, doors seem to be opening, not closing.

And now, the other random thought that my title not so subtly alludes to!

In the middle of worship last night we were singing a song that cries out to God for freedom. And as we sang, God directed me to pray these words I was singing, not over my own life, but over the life of a friend. Not in a way that she would even know that I was battling on her behalf, but simply to cry out to Him for her. I've known her for quite a while, and walked with her through some pretty harsh and difficult things. At the moment our relationship is quite distant - her doing, and God giving me permission to step into a more silent role than the bold truth speaker he asked me to be for quite a while. And it's funny, because I would have never expected in the middle of worship to be asked to pray for her. But I was, and I did, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't know that I'll ever know the results. And yet I prayed - I think that makes a difference...

I Watched Someone Love Something...

I was thinking this morning again about the opening author's note in Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. It reads:

I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

After that I liked jazz music.

Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened.

I was thinking about this passage this morning, particularly that second last paragraph, about watching someone love something before you can love it yourself, and realized again the truth in that statement.

I spent almost two years watching people around me love God in a way that I'd never seen before, and then, suddenly, one night, sitting in a friend's car, and still watching him love God, and invite me to that too, I started to get it. All of the different friends in my life showed me the way.

And I was thinking about that this morning, because they're still doing it. They're still modeling for me what it means to experience God on a deeper and deeper level. I saw it last night at church, and sitting around a picnic table at Peter's Drive In last night, and standing in a parking lot as a witness of what God was doing as two friends prayed for another friend. Every time I see these people they teach me something new about God - they incite a desire for deeper and greater things.

Unexpected Excitement and Joy

So my extraordinarily busy day had an interesting twist at it's ending. I picked my friend up from the airport, and as we grabbed dinner and caught up on the last week and a bit in each other's lives, we became amazed at a number of coinciding events that happened completely separately, over the last week and over the last several months, that we'd never shared with each other, and yet seemed to closely parallel each other's hearts.

Suffice it to say that over the next weeks and months we are going to be lifting a big decision before God both together and separately, seeking counsel from Godly people that we trust to speak wisdom and truth into our lives, and waiting for further direction from God. We have a potentially huge decision to make, and we're both filled with joy and excitement at the prospect, and at the way God seems to have been working to lead us to the point where we had the conversation that seems to indicate we need to pray and consider this opportunity.

I am being deliberately vague, as we as of yet have shared it only with each other, and it's not something we're ready to share with the whole world. We spent a chunk of time sitting in my car and praying over it together, inviting God to lead as we consider it further, and I've sent off the first of a couple emails to friends seeking counsel. As things become clearer, and possibilities take on firm shape, I'll share more, but in the meantime I'd like to ask you to pray with us over this next while as we're seeking God, and if God reveals anything to you as you pray, feel free to email me at the address in my profile, or leave a comment here on the blog.

Ezekiel and a busy day

I thought I'd better pop in here so you don't all dessert me for fairer pastures and more regular bloggers!

I have the busiest day I've had in a long time planned tomorrow. I have two job interviews scheduled - one at 8 and one at 10, then I work from 11-7, after which I'm headed to the airport to pick up a friend and probably spend a chunk of the evening with her, before delivering her to where she parked her car for the week she's been away.

I have to be honest - days with back to back scheduling like this stress me out a little. I don't do as well on days that don't give me enough down time and alone time - and there will only be alone time in my car between appointments - which would be great except that I don't particularly like driving, especially to new places. I mostly drive because it is far more convenient, less crowded and less full of slightly odd and smelly people than public transit. But, I'm looking forward to tomorrow evening and catching up with my friend again.

I've been reading the book of Ezekiel this week. I always feel slightly odd admitting that it is one of my favorite chunks of scripture. I fell in love with it for reasons I can't even name somewhere in 1998 or 1999, when I read through the entire Bible for the first time. I was mocked a couple of times for professing my love for Ezekiel, and I mostly didn't pay it any attention for the following several years, with the notable exception of the dry bones chapter which seems to figure rather prominently and come up regularly in the circles I've been hanging around in.

Anyway, for the last while I've had this inner thought (prompting?) that I should go back and read Ezekiel again. And, as I was struggling with a number of things this week, I felt like it would be a good place to start reading. I'm falling in love with it again - for reasons I still can't quite explain. I think I love how extreme it is. Ezekiel lays on his side for all those days, a human object lesson of Israel's sin, and when God wants Ezekiel to internalize his message, he literally feeds it to him. And then there's the fact that God never lets Ezekiel forget his humanity. He never has a chance to get a big head about the whole "prophet speaking for God" aspect of his life. Every time God addresses him, he is reminded of his humanity - "Son of Man." And yet, it's an interesting parallel that "Son of Man" is also the name by which Jesus was called and identified... mmm... loving this book!

And with that I'm off to read in bed for a little while, and hopefully turn my lights out a bit early tonight. I need to get up quite a bit earlier than normal to make it to the 8am interview, and I know that the day will be long and draining.