He was 21

Calgary bid farewell to the latest local soldier to be killed in the ongoing conflict in Afghanistan yesterday.

This one hit closer to home for me.

He was young, falling between my two younger brothers. And he attended the same high school that they did, in our neighborhood. I don't know if they knew him, or knew of him. It doesn't really matter all that much to me.

He was just a year older than my baby brother.

But what really catches my attention is the tattoo emblazoned across his back. The one of which countless pictures have appeared in the local media this last week. "For Those I Love I Will Sacrifice."

A life statement of sorts. A powerful one. One that challenges me. And one that becomes that much more poignant given that this young man gave his life serving his country.

In the news...

It's been a while since I listed the headlines that were catching my attention, but here are a few:

Pope Holds Huge Mass in Lourdes

Rwandans Vote for New Parliament

Kampala's "Preacher Boy"

Haven't We Seen This Election Before?

The Question

I suppose it was inevitable. I've been expecting it for at least a few months now - ever since I made the decision to take the summer off church, and made it clear that I would likely not be returning to the church I grew up in. THE QUESTION. It came somewhat unexpectedly from my mom as we were chatting on the phone this afternoon. She wanted to know what I'd done with my day, and I'd filled her in. Then, she asked "So, are you attending church somewhere?"

Not yet. I'll start looking soon, in fact I visited one option a few weeks back. But I haven't chosen a church community to "call home" yet.

And yet, that question had the power to make me feel quite guilty. That "I don't quite measure up to my parent's expectations" sinking feeling.

And then I remembered the slow lazy start to the morning... laying in bed and talking with Jesus about life, and about friends near and far.

I remembered driving to the farmer's market, buying one item, and beginning to get that inner "prompting" feeling that I'm slowly becoming familiar with to go to the zoo.

I remembered driving home to stow my farmer's market purchase in the refrigerator, and grab my camera, and then climbing back into George and heading for the zoo.

I remembered being so thankful for God's provision of a car as I drove to the zoo, and telling him so.

I remembered the sun on my face as I walked into the grounds of the zoo.

I remembered watching the inquisitive children, and then parents who didn't want to take the time for their children to interact with the things they'd spotted, and realizing that God has been so patient with my many questions and ranting these past weeks.

I remembered the delight of watching a tiny baby gorilla play in it's enclosure, and then, when it had wandered just a bit too far, be scooped up by it's mother and cuddled to itself. The deep joy that came as I sat surrounded by families and small children, and watched this adorable little animal, the size of an eight or nine month old human child wander in the enclosure.

I remembered that I am again beginning to feel delight in creation.

I remembered watching the sparrows play in the trees, and humming "his eye is on the sparrow, and I know he watches me..." as I walked back to my car.

I remembered the challenge of another set of song lyrics as I drove home.

And I realized that I met with Jesus in a myriad of life-giving ways, simply by going to the zoo for an hour this morning.

I choose life.

This is a day to remember in the future, on the low days.

There were many gifts of life within it.

Sunday Morning

It's Sunday morning, and I have the house to myself for most of the day. That doesn't happen very often these days, and it's SO exciting! One roommate is visiting her out of town boyfriend, and the other one went hiking for the day.

So, what, you ask, am I doing with this freedom? Well, at the moment I'm lazing about in bed, writing a blog post.

I sent a few emails - one to my best friend, who I'm rather missing at the moment, but who I finally heard has arrived safely in Pakistan at the hospital where she's spending the next 8 months.

I've surfed the net a little.

Actually, I have plans to take George out for a bit and head to the farmer's market, and then, later I'm going to work on an art project. Should be good times.

Reading, quiet. Maybe a long hot bath. Maybe a bit of work in our yard.

Oh, and some groceries. I need to pick up some groceries later.

Basically, a quiet, unplanned day. They're my favorite sort.

George

This is George. I named him in memory of one particularly odd afternoon in April, when one of my roommates and I needed some emotional release pretty badly, and went out to get cheesecake and then settled in for an afternoon of mindless laughter watching "George of the Jungle" on dvd.

George is my new ride. My first car ever. I purchased him this morning for a very good price.

He's rather a provision from God - price and timing. I'd been having a bit of a hard-time since our move with feeling quite housebound, as our new house isn't nearly as accessible to public transit as our old place.

George is a gift that came at just the right time. And he'll bring me the freedom to get the places I need to go, and sometimes, just to be out of the city and breathe a bit.

So tonight, my smile list has one very large silver item on it, named George.