The Woman's Creed

Thinking About Women and the Christian Church.

I've got to admit that I've never really given much thought to this topic until recently. Yeah, I knew that in the circles I grew up in, I would never become a pastor, but I wasn't too worried - I didn't want to be a pastor anyway - I knew the fish bowl like existence of that world, and wasn't interested in that being part of the rest of my life.

I'm a history major with a specialty in European religious history, but I've zealously avoided topics such as feminist theology, womens' roles in various ages of the church, female mystics, and so on... until recently.

I started to get interested in more "feminist" (a word I hesitate to use, because I'm not sure I can find a definition I'm entirely comfortable subscribing to) topics about a year ago, when I was studying the Moravians. Count von Zinzendorf had a theology of the family in relation to the Trinity, viewing aspects of both Christ and of the Holy Spirit as female in nature and role. At the time, I wrote the ideas off as fascinating if somewhat sketchy.

I've spent a great deal of time over the past several months reading spiritual autobiographies, and plan to devote quite a bit more time in the new year to doing extensive research. As I read the stories of some women, and began to deal with issues in my own relationship with God and with my dad, I began to become more interested in the idea of a "feminine" God, or at least a God who valued women highly. I'm by no means ready to subscribe to the idea of a female God, but I can certainly see feminine traits in the character of God. On the other hand, I don't really subscribe to a "male" God either - God is spirit, and thus neither male nor female.

My thinking has been particularly shaped by Renee Altson in her book Stumbling Toward Faith and in some of the posts at her blog. The things Renee has to say have challenged me. I have also been shaped by some words from John and Stasi Eldredge's Captivating. Early in the book (of which I only read a couple chapters) they talk about the fact that not just men are created in the image of God - but women are too, and discuss the aspects of God's character that women seem to mirror - things like God's compassion, his relational nature. Interestingly, these aspects of God are the ones I have struggled to understand. I have been comfortable with an authoritarian God, but surprised and overwhelmed by a gracious, loving and relational God.

My final term paper of my degree was the first one I have ever written on a feminist topic. I examined the fact that the feminist movement in North America was birthed by the evangelical revival movement. Famous evangelical revival preacher, Charles Grandison Finney, was one of the first men to encourage women to preach and pray publicly at what in the nineteenth century were quaintly termed 'promiscuous' meetings (meetings of mixed gender). Finney was a strong advocate of higher education for women. The feminist movement in the nineteenth century was inextricably linked to the evangelical church. I came away from the paper asking the question, "what happened?" or "what changed?" I can't answer that one for you.

I attended a lecture this morning in one of my classes on "liberation theology" and the "feminist theology" that is closely tied to this. It is an interesting topic. The professor gave us a copy of a "creed" that one feminist theologian wrote. I found it strikingly biblical, and challenging. The author, Rachel Conrad Wahlberg, wrote "The Woman's Creed" in 1978 after reflecting for a time on the Apostle's Creed. I would not use her creed in a liturgy, as it lacks discussion of key elements of faith such as the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ, but I find her conception of Jesus and his relationship to women fascinating. So, I thought I'd share it with you!

I believe in God
who created woman and man in God's own image
who created the world
and gave both sexes
the care of the earth.

I believe in Jesus
child of God
chosen of God
born of the woman Mary
who listened to women and liked them
who stayed in their homes
who discussed the Kingdom with them
who was followed and financed
by women disciples.

I believe in Jesus
who discussed theology with a woman at a well
and first confided in her
his messiahship
who motivated her to go and tell
her great news to the city.

I believe in Jesus who received anointing
from a woman at Simon's house
who rebuked the men guests who scorned her
I believe in Jesus
who said this woman will be remembered
for what she did -
minister to Jesus.

I believe in Jesus
who acted boldly
to reject the blood taboo
of ancient societies
by healing the audacious woman who touched him.

I believe in Jesus who healed a woman
on the sabbath
and made her straight
because she was
a human being.

I believe in Jesus
who spoke of God
as a woman seeking the lost coin
as a woman who swept
seeking the lost.

I believe in Jesus
who thought of pregnancy and birth
with reverence
not as punishment - but
as wrenching event
a metaphor for transformation
born again
anguish-into-joy.

I believe in Jesus
who spoke of himself
as a mother her
who would gather her chicks
under her wings.

I believe in Jesus who appeared
first to Mary Magdalene
who sent her with the bursting message
GO AND TELL...

I believe in the wholeness
of the Savior
in whom there is neither
Jew nor Greek
slave nor free
male nor female
for we are all one
in salvation.

I believe in the Holy Spirit
as she moves over the waters
of creation
and over the earth.

I believe in the Holy Spirit
as she yearns within us
to pray for those things
too deep for words.

I believe in the Holy Spirit
the woman spirit of God*
who like a hen
created us
and gave us birth
and covers us
with her wings.

*the Hebrew word for Spirit is feminine

So, there you have it. I like this picture of a God who values me as female, who presents important messages to women. I don't have all the answers, I certainly don't subscribe most days to a feminist (there's that awful word again) mindset, but I can subscribe to this God, who values me, who created me uniquely female, and says that there is something beautiful in that.

Some Merton...

Just because I liked it. To be perfectly honest, I haven't read much Merton. A friend (that would be you Mr. Klaszus - if in fact you still lurk around here occasionally) tried to get me into it a while back, when we were in the midst of a heated written debate on just war theory, but I never quite got into it. I'm attempting again. But, I happened to be assigned some passages from Merton for one of my classes, and found a couple of (what I think are) stellar quotes. So, here you go - some Merton to tide you over until I've actually read something of substance by him!

The real purpose of meditation - or at least that which recommends itself as most relevant for the modern man - is the exploration and discovery of new dimensions in freedom, illumination and love, in deepening our awareness of our life in Christ.
What is the relation of this to action? Simply this. He who attempts to act and do things for others or for the world without deepening his own self-understanding, freedom, integrity and capacity to love, will not have anything to give others. He will communicate to them nothing but the contagion of his own obsessions, his agressiveness, his ego-centered ambitions, his delusions about ends and means, his doctrinaire prejudices and ideas. (From "Comtemplation in a World of Action.")

Things I Never Thought I'd Say

So, I’m sitting in a car tonight, on the way home from a wedding, and listening to (and sometimes taking part in) a conversation about relationships between guys and girls. And then, we switch cars, but I’m alone now with one of the people from the first car, and she’s still talking about this conversation, frustrated by it’s lack of resolution, and so finally, I just get fed up, and I start talking. And I’m sitting there, and as I’m talking, I’m thinking, “I never thought that would come out of my mouth.”

We were talking about being single versus being part of a couple. And so I started there. I’m happy (most of the time) being single. I feel like I’m in such a good place at the moment. I’m 22 years old, I’ve never dated, and never been kissed, and I’m okay with that. I’m so not in a hurry for these things. There are so many things I want to do that marriage would make harder. I’m open to the possibility of a relationship, but it needs to be a natural thing. (Note, this did not really surprise me when I said it. I’ve been okay being single for quite some time.)

But then, I moved on.

I looked at my friend (who is, like me, a control freak) and commented, “You know, if you’d asked me two years ago what my life would look like today, this is not what I would have described.” I started university four years ago, and I KNEW what I was going to do with my life. Today, I’m seventeen days from graduating, and I have no idea what I’m going to do with my life. Starting December 21st, for the first time in 17 years, I don’t know exactly what I’m going to do with major portions of my life for the next year. Yeah, I still like to make plans, but I’m okay with spur of the moment, or even with last minute changes.

The last month of my life has been insane. I can give you the specific date it changed. November 1, 2005. God stepped into my life on that day, and did some crazy things. He’s continued to do some crazy things. I’ve poured hours and hours into caring for friends in crisis this month. I’ve fought illness that’s been hanging around off-and-on since mid-October. I’ve written several term papers, midterms, and generally been extremely stressed by school. I’ve been overwhelmed by the areas of my life God has been touching. I’ve been delighted to realize that for the first time in my life I have a strong network of supportive, spiritually and emotionally healthy friends who care and pray as I step into crisis situation after crisis situation, and as God begins to open and heal my own wounds.

And here’s the funny part. I’ve always hated those classic “Christian” stories where someone describes some kind of intense period of their lives – usually a really painful time – and they get to the end of the story, and say, “I wouldn’t trade this time in my life, despite the pain, for anything in the world.” Something inside of my always went, “yeah right, you’re so not telling the whole truth.”

So, let me say it. I wouldn’t trade the last month of my life for anything on the planet. I mean it. It’s been absolutely INSANE, and I would not want it to have been anything different.

God is revealing Himself to me, and it’s blowing my mind. He is showing up in ways in my life that I would never have chosen for myself. He is touching old wounds, opening them and making them raw, and beginning to let me see healing. He is speaking even in the moments I have trouble distinguishing his voice. He is calling me to serve Him with my life and breath. He has handed me situations I never thought I’d deal with, and giving me the grace to walk friends through them. He has provided me with friends who are encouraging me on the journey, who are supporting me, praying for and with me, hearing God on my behalf. He is working. I have a sense of hope that was absent for the past years.

And here’s the thing. The most dangerous prayer I have ever prayed is, “God, my life is open to You. Do whatever You desire, use me if you want, and I don’t care how it looks.” That’s not an easy thing for a self-admitted control freak to pray. But, since that crazy day just over a month ago, it is the prayer I breath nightly as I fall asleep. It is the prayer on my lips as I ride transit every day, as I go to a job that can be less than exciting some days, as I pick up a crisis phone call. And it is the deep cry of my heart. I long to know Him intimately, to be sold out for Him, to know and understand His heart for me.

I have no idea where the next year is going to take me, but I’m excited. I sense His call on my life, and somehow, I know that something changed that day last month. I know that I will never be the same person I used to be. And I’m terrified, and ecstatic, and apprehensive, and overwhelmed, and I can’t wait for what’s coming next.

Wedding

I'm off in an hour or so to spend the day at the wedding of a friend in Canmore. Nice!

This friend went to Poland as a missionary, met a guy, and now they're getting married and planning to move back to Poland to serve God together in a year or so. Crazy story, but fun! So that's all I need to do - accept a call from God to the mission field, and I'll end up married!

I'm having a few dress issues. It took me at least an hour last night to figure it out. Oh well, I think I look okay now, and I'm taking jeans and a t-shirt for the drive home after the wedding - no sense being uncomfortable any longer than absolutely necessary!

And, I bought the funniest t-shirt ever yesterday on my break at work, and I can't wait to wear it. It says:

Blondes have more fun.

Brunettes can read.

And with that profound thought, I'm off to make breakfast before I finish getting ready for the wedding! Have a truly excellent day y'all!

unguarded...

I'm not sure it's a very smart idea to write a post at this moment. My thoughts are rather unguarded - a side effect of intense lack of sleep.

I've slept approximately 2 and a half hours. You see, I had one last term paper due this morning. The last term paper of my undergraduate degree. The only problem was, I got called into work early yesterday, so it didn't get started before my shift. So, I worked until 9, got home around 10, made my nightly hour long phone call to my friend in crisis, and started the paper around 11. I finished at 4:20 this morning, was asleep somewhere around 4:45, and got up to go to school and hand the paper in at 7:30ish. So, a couple hours sleep.

I'm actually surprisingly alert, if tired. But, as I was taking the bus home, it hit me that my thoughts are unguarded and emotional in a way they aren't usually. I'm thinking about a lot of stuff. Particularly about the raw areas of my life that God opened on Tuesday. I'm just now having the downtime necessary to begin to allow it to penetrate, to begin to process. And it hurts.

In light of that, and the fact that I really do need to go back to school for my evening class, I think I'm going to go take a nap. I think this batch needs to be processed in the privacy of my paper journal, before I share it with the world! Unguarded is safe in a book that no one but me will ever see.