New Things

Not sure what to write. I leave Malta at 5:55 am tomorrow morning. I think it's going to take me a long, long time to understand the things this trip has done in my heart and life.

There are new things springing up within me. Sometimes they scare me, sometimes they excite me. Generally they feel as if they are going to bring both great pain, and great beauty. But I think that all the really beautiful things in life do that.

I had a beautiful moment in a field yesterday, with two friends. One that was just for me, and not be shared. One I've needed, full of grace and healing and peace.

Tomorrow I head for Rome for a few days, than London for a few days, before heading home to Calgary. I also head into Lent tomorrow. I'm beginning the process of having a conversation with the Lord about what Lent will look like this year. It tends to be a profound season in my life.

I'm grateful for the places, the people, the things I've experienced over the last month. But I still feel as if there aren't many words for it. I'm thankful that several of my dearest friends have been here with me, sharing the experience with me. It would be hard to have gone through this trip alone - to have no one to hash it over with upon my return to Canada and the world of day to day life.

I think transitions are probably coming when I get home, too. Not ready to give voice to those yet, but quite sure they're in the works.

I'm going home with a renewed desire to experience life deeply. To pursue the things I'm interested in.

I'm going to take yoga, and photography. I'm going to learn Spanish. I'm going to continue to dream of ways to make it possible to continue to travel like this for lengths of time. I'm going to plan a trip to Peru. I'm going to work at allowing my heart to be open to the world. I'm going to pray about a trip to Africa. I'm going to figure out what it means to walk out who I really am in the context of my day to day life, and not just in the context of a month away from my routines, on the other side of the planet. I'm going to spend time with the friends I really value, and work on developing relationship with a few that I'd like to know better. I'm going to find people in Calgary to pray with on a regular basis.

Okay... I think I'm done for now... I have a few emails to send before heading into the city to do some last minute shopping...

Internet probably won't be that accessible for the rest of my trip, so this may be it until I get home. See you in a week or so!

park

Late last night I sat in front of a computer screen with two questions on it:
What worked this week?
What didn't work this week?

I spent probably 40 minutes, thinking and praying carefully through my last week, and evaluating what had been life-giving, and what had been life-taking, and as I thought and prayed, I wrote it down.

I've known since early in the week that it would be good to find the time to head for the park I often go to to think and pray. I've known I needed that time away from distractions, but I haven't been able to find it.

I love Saturday mornings. I sleep in a bit (usually 8-8:30ish - an hour and a half or two hours longer than I sleep the rest of the week) and then I generally get up and spend time with Jesus in my living room, quietly, before my roommate (who sleeps in quite a bit longer) gets up. I knew, though, that I needed the park time this week, so I checked with my roommate last night to make sure it was okay, and arranged to use her car (to save me walking to the bus, waiting for the bus, taking the bus, then reversing the process at the other end) for this time before she wakes up, and I'm headed for the park now.

I have a busy weekend ahead, and need this hour or so alone with Jesus.

See you later!

Scheduling and Prioritizing

I'm thinking a lot about scheduling and prioritizing again lately. Having conversations with a variety of friends. Reading a book another friend recommended I pick up.

Needing to figure out what exactly the most important things are. Knowing what some of them are, and needing to figure out how to give them the time they deserve. Needing to build white space into my life on a regular basis - not just on unexpected evenings like tonight when something is canceled.

I fell asleep on the couch trying to read and pray for the last hour... I had an abnormally late night last night, abnormally early morning this morning, but still... needing to find a way to rest more consistently...

laying here, thinking about priorities, and half-way watching my television show... going to bed soon...

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Now playing: Frou Frou - Let Go
via FoxyTunes