An odd comfort

In these days and moments that remain intense and strange, I am increasingly thankful for the psalmists and prophets of the old testament variety. Their words give me an odd sort of comfort and hope. A model for prayers.

If these characters of "biblical proportions" can pen words of such anger and frustration and despair, and yet still model a love of the Lord, and a commitment to serve and worship him, then maybe it is possible for me to find some sort of balance in this as well.

I am taking comfort in Lamentations 3 tonight.

Particularly these verses:

My tears flow endlessly;
they will not stop
until the Lord looks down
from heaven and sees.
(3:49-50)

Look down, O Lord, and see me. Hold me and gather me to yourself. Carry me, as Isaiah says, the way you would carry a lamb, in your arms, holding me close to your heart. Leading me gently.

Its Welfare Will Determine Your Welfare...

I've been slowly working my way through the book of Jeremiah for several weeks now, taking my time, reading a little each day, and letting myself be captured by bits and pieces of the words spoken within it.

Today I was lying in a bath, reading, and found myself captured by the following verse:

"And work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for its welfare will determine your welfare." (Jeremiah 29:7, NLT)

I find myself particularly caught by that last line, "Pray to the Lord for its welfare will determine your welfare."

I was born and raised in the city in which I presently live, so I can by no means claim that I am living in exile. However, at times through the last year especially, it has very much felt like a sort of exile. Isolation. Loneliness. Distance from friends. A less than stellar work situation. Tension with my family, with some friends, and occasionally with my roommates.

I can't say I've spent a lot of time pausing, thanking the Lord for this space in life. For this city. For all of the myriad of things that have made me cranky and discontent at times. I definitely haven't paused to pray for this space I'm occupying, this "city".

And yet, today, as I was reading, I was caught deeply by the idea that the welfare of this place I occupy has a great deal of impact on my own welfare. Not just the literal city, province and country in which I live, but the many things that make up the space in which I live. The house, the relationships, the family and friends and roommates and work mates. The job, and all that goes with it. I am convicted today of a need to perhaps pray differently. To pray for the welfare of all these things, because, in varying measures, my own welfare is determined by them. I suppose that I understood that in some ways, but today, thanks to Jeremiah, I am understanding it more deeply, and it is causing my heart to pause, and pray.