Saturday, March 05, 2011

Pondering Friendship

I've been thinking a lot about friendship again the last few days.  It's been a fairly constant topic of re-evaluation for me over the last six months or so.  I've made decisions differently.  I've chosen to handle some relationships differently.  Reading Safe People (see my mini-review here) very much shaped my thoughts as well.

In the last couple of days I've had two very distinct experiences of this thing called friendship, and they've left me pondering and deeply appreciative of good friendships with healthy dynamics.

On Thursday I spent a day with one of "my people."  There was no pressure, no expectations, just lots of love and the freedom of a well-established relationship, with boundaries that have created safety and a place for us to simply be who we are.  It was pretty much my definition of "the perfect day."  We spent an entire day together in a beautiful location, doing things like taking photos and enjoying really fantastic food.  And we laughed and talked and laughed some more.  We covered topics as diverse as travel, arranged marriage, body image and weight loss/gain, future plans, god, friends and family, healthy relationships, and mountains.   We shared tea, and sat in the hot springs, and laughed at the goofy guys wearing their toques in the pool, fresh off the mountains from a day of skiing, based on their conversation on which we couldn't help but eavesdrop a bit.

I left the day feeling peaceful and happy, after interactions that were easy and natural, and reminded about what love is.

And so I'm pondering friendship again.  Savoring the comparative tastes, and learning to recognize the flavor of that which is good.  Reconsidering boundaries I've drawn, and wondering if some of them need to again be tightened.  I'm thinking about friendship and finding myself amazed at the things I'm discovering, about myself, and about my relationships as I pause to ponder.