Monday, October 25, 2010


I'm laying flat on my back in bed, in a dark basement.

I'm wondering if upstairs, a call has come through from my grandma.  I realized as I woke this morning that I forgot to call her and tell her that my plans had changed - that I was staying elsewhere last night.  Oops.  Part of me feels guilty for that.  And part of me resents, just a little, a living situation that, at 27 years of age, requires me to report my plans and whereabouts.  I'm thinking about the fact that I'm sleeping there tonight, and that will be the last time for a week, since I've got a house-sitting gig starting tomorrow.

I'm wondering if this will be the week where the news about school will finally come.  I'm wondering how I'll handle that news if it's not an acceptance.  Especially given the fact that some key parts of my in Calgary support system will be away this next week.  I'm trying not to borrow trouble, or worry, but I really do fear that a little.  I'm working through it.

I have another job interview today. 

And coffee with a friend I met in a very unique set of circumstances late last fall.

I'm laughing a little as I lay here with a sermon playing in the background, laughing at something the speaker just said.  Everywhere I turn right now, the same themes are popping up over and over and over.  Value and worth.  Presence in darkness.  Over and over and over.

This is my week for official type appointments.

I need to fill out paperwork for those.

A meeting regarding government unemployment stuff tomorrow.

A meeting with the American embassy later in the week.

A few more meetings with friends.

It's Monday.  And the week holds things that excite me.  And things that make me quiver, just a little.

And I'm reminded of the overarching themes that preaching has held.  Of worth, and trust, of presence in darkness.

And I'm trying to hold on to that too...