Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Study Space

I have spent the day (since about 9:30 or so this morning) sitting here:
This is it.  My study space in mom and dad's basement.  (I've also spent a large portion of today wrapped in a thick blanket, since it's rainy and cold here, and the basement is therefore quite chilly.)

This sign used to sit in my office.  It seems more appropriate hanging here, where I see it every time I look up from my textbooks and have to smile.  Because my dreams came suddenly and unexpectedly, when I was ejected from the office that the sign used to sit in.

Curly Girl Designs put out a mini-calendar, and I ordered it at the beginning of this year, because I love the artwork it contains.  I smiled when I pulled it out of the box of things I brought from my office and turned to the month of June.  It reads, "She packed up her potential and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things."  The smaller print reads, "Her heart glowed with a degree of happy assurance."  I find it so funny, these little, odd timing things.  These moments where it somehow seems perfect that this would be a quote for the month in which I make some life direction altering decisions.

Here you can see the calendar, with a couple of gifts from a dear friend.  The cross reads "Hope" in the centre, and the book is a Catholic prayer book, an antique one, in Spanish.  A gift from a friend who knows my heart deeply, knows my dreams of South America, and each time I pick it up, cradle it, read a prayer within it, my heart leaps and prays and dreams of things to come.

And these?  These are the textbooks consuming my time at the moment.  Just in front of them, where you can't see it, is a notepad, also emblazoned with the word "hope".  A gift from a different friend, and my way of tracking the many things that must be done each day and week.

I've sat here all day, covering material that is sometimes fascinating, and sometimes incredibly boring.  I've sipped tea and eaten lunch and checked emails.  And I've studied.  A lot.  In the moments when I forget why this seemed like a good plan, to spend my days in a basement, reading and making notes, forcefully stuffing huge amounts of information into my brain in a short amount of time, I pause and re-read my own words here, or the comments so many sent me there, or by email, and I am reminded that though duckless, I am learning trust, and that I feel a deep peace, and that this is a step towards God's leading.

And somehow, that makes long days wrapped in a heavy blanket, cramming knowledge into my head, so much more doable.


Anonymous said...

Hope is a good thing :-)


Lisa said...

indeed. thanks for sending me some :) (pic of the actual notepad is in the facebook album... thinking I had a limit here or something...)

Anonymous said...

I feel far less blind or crazy now ;-)

Jenny said...

Quack quack! I see ducks lining up here! What a gorgeous calendar, and a perfect page for June and your new adventure.

LOVE the views of your desk and your new cosy place, Lisa (well, cosy with a blanket!). Wonderful! Thanks for sharing.

I bought the two Benson books you mentioned - started on Echo this morning on a crowded train that got stuck behind a broken-down one in front. Had to laugh! I love it already. Thank you so much Lisa, for sharing your thoughts and prayers and dreams on your blog, and your reading list.

Your Henri Nouwen friend

Jenny, Australia

Lisa said...

glad you got the Benson books! you'll have to let me know what you think of them!