Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Surgery, Dreams, Atmosphere...

I'm still deeply pondering the things I talked about here.

Someone I've seen a few times in rather significant dreams is having surgery this morning to remove a cancerous mass, so that they can take next steps in treatment. The mass is the size of an apple, under their sternum. I don't know them well, only that they've appeared in some incredibly deep and memorable dreams. Their family has been through much, and a cancer diagnosis was almost unbelievable. So this morning I find myself praying as they wait through the surgery, and wait for results.

Today's saint of the day is St. Jerome. I sighed just a little as memories hit as I read Jerome's biography. He reminds me of some others I know or have known, people I love and pray for. The temper, the sometimes vitriolic writings, and the immense commitment to truth. Truth be told, as I write that, I recognize some of those tendencies in my own heart as well. And so I am praying for some of those others, and for those tendencies within me to be curbed by a heart that truly seeks to live in surrender and obedience to Jesus.

I'm thinking a lot about atmosphere, too. Some of you will know that I have become remarkably sensitive to the spiritual atmopshere in people and places over the last few years. All week this week I've been unable to get warm. I've worn extra layers, sat with magic bags around my neck, sipped tea, and been freezing. But mostly only at the office. A quick hot shower when I got home could usually shake the mess. This morning I was in an incredibly prayerful space as I drove to work, praying for the person having surgery, and for those whom St. Jerome had called to mind. Maybe because I was in an even more sensitive space than usual, I felt the shift. I went from being warm and comfortable, to cold, as I stepped into the building.

It shouldn't surprise me. I've known all week that something was up here again. There have been more than the usual numbers of flaring tempers, incompetence, and spikes in the nearly constant levels of tension. But this morning it was incredibly noticeable.

So, I'm praying prayers of shielding and asking for peace, and I'm hoping for a day that is a bit crazy than the last two have been.

And in between all of these things, I'm still pondering Sunday's trip. A day spent in the Southern part of the province, walking and praying and seeing and experiencing. A day that I don't have a lot of words for yet.