Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The rains came...

We had truly beautiful thunderstorms yesterday afternoon and again this afternoon. The lightning was stunning to watch from my office window. Rain pouring down on thirsty ground, bringing clean air.

My heart needed the rains to come. I find myself praying for that washing clean within me as well.

There was a time I'd have found these ancient lyrics gruesome, but I have been listening to the song here, and letting my heart be ministered to and deeply encouraged by them tonight. "Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be 'til I die."

My plans for the evening actually didn't change too much from what I formulated this afternoon.

I replaced comfort food with Vietnamese take-out, and substituted a short shower for the planned longer one.

During the brief stop at my parent's home, my dad made me laugh with his eagerness to share a fact with me that he'd learned during the first aid class he is taking all day today and tomorrow. Apparently, if I ever have heart problems, and require the aid of a defibrillator, and still have my navel piercing (which he and mom found out about on Sunday after arriving home from Africa, and promptly rolled their eyes at), I'm likely to have a burn where the piercing is, because the metal attracts and conducts the electrical current! Such lovely information, but his eagerness to share it with me, while grinning at me did make me laugh. That and his story about the teacher's rather unfortunate and completely unknowing miss-use of a word.

There was a funny little moment when I showed Dad the new business cards that arrived for me last week. He wanted to know if he could keep it. And then mom wanted one too. She wants to put it on the refrigerator. Their response made me smile. Because in a funny way it was them telling me in a way that I could hear (and that hasn't always been the case!) that they love me and are proud of me. And oh, my heart needed to hear that from some of the people I love today.

Monty Python was brilliant. Just the right mix of intelligence and sillyness, with a British accent. (Everything really does sound better in a British accent!) I'd forgotten just how much great historical and political humor "The Holy Grail" contained. I'd even forgotten that it contains so much that one of my political science professors in university actually showed bits and pieces of it as illustrations in class. It was also just the right length. Just as I was thinking that I'd hit my tolerance point for that sort of humor for one night, it came to an end.

I caught up on facebook, and played a computer game while I watched.

I ate some childhood candy favorites that I picked up at the grocery store recently (cola bottles and peanut m&m's).

I'm feeling relaxed and sort of peaceful (there are things stirring under the surface) for the first time in a while.

I felt my focus shift. Looking forward.

We're still waiting to confirm the date, but it's quite likely (and preferable really) that we'll be moving a week from Saturday or Sunday. That means it's time to get down to the details of packing and sorting.

I've sold my current bed frame, and the people who bought it are likely coming over to disassemble and pick it up on Friday night. Which means I need to empty the storage in it, and do some packing. And that I need to clean my bedroom a bit so that maneuvering in there is possible.

It means I need to call the thrift store and find out when they accept donations, and where to drop them off.

It means that a few minutes from now I'll be heading for my bedroom to do at least a little bit of cleaning before curling up in bed with a book for a bit.

I'm quite looking forward to closing my day with more of the achingly beautiful prayers from the book I quoted this morning. I need the sort of deep honesty and beautiful, but plain spoken words they're providing these days. My heart is just a bit at a loss for words of it's own right now, feeling hurt and tired, and finding my own voice in echoing someone else is helpful.

So I'll clean for a while - because that too, is a prayer. A prayer for order and peace and restoration. And then I'll read scripture and some prayers, and let my heart find a voice for a little while before praying for rest.