Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thoughts On Waking

Have I mentioned that discombobulated is one of my favorite words these days? It has that onomatopoeiac (I have to confess that I had to look up the spelling of onomatopoeia) quality that perfectly describes the way I'm feeling a lot of the time.

I fell asleep after praying about some issues with my family. Not a long intense prayer, just a one line "please continue healing" in the midst of some other journalled thoughts and prayers.

I woke from a vivid dream about another familial relationship, thinking, "oh, apparently there's healing needed there as well."

I slept off and on through the night. Not waking as many times as usual, or sleeping as much as I'd have liked.

This is one of those bleary eyed mornings. The alarm went, and I found myself more deeply drifting towards sleep than I was when I'd last woken nearly an hour before.

I stumbled through a morning routine, deciding not to cut a slice of a delicious pan of squares I baked last weekend. Now that I'm sitting in my office, I want nothing so much as that square for breakfast. Toast with peanut butter is just not going to satisfy in the same way.

I think I drove on auto pilot. I know this because I ended up in a lane I never take, forcing me to merge. I never take this lane because I hate merging. Merging requires me to use my left eye. I don't see well with my left eye, and I find merging a precarious prospect, requiring me to turn my head to see the lane I'm merging into, and thus not entirely be watching the lane in which I'm currently driving. But this morning, I was distracted by the audio book I was listening to, and by my own sleepy, discobobulated thoughts, and I ended up in the merge lane. I ended up thinking with great surprise "I never take this lane!"

I woke this morning, too, to discover that a book order I placed yesterday morning has been shipped. In full. No piece-meal shipping this time. Sometime in the next week or so I will take possession of four new books.

And with that, it's Thursday. I'm still bleary eyed and discombobulated. But I like Thursdays as a general rule. And this is one that is definitely going to require a cup of tea. And breakfast. So I'm off to the office kitchen to meet these needs of mine.