"I Was Made for War" (a prayer for her)

I don’t think I’ll ever forget her voice as she described the strength and energy the lyrics brought her in the midst of her deep brokenness. The words she used that night, sitting in my car in the dark, have long ago escaped from my memory, but her tone of voice, the strength, the hope, the joy that it carried remain.

I’m thinking about her again today, and praying for her. I’ve been listening today to the CD that we were talking about those few years back. It’s become one I’ve listened to a lot again lately, giving words to the prayers of my heart for some others that I dearly love.

She quoted a line from one of the songs, “I was made for war. I was made for battle, Lord,” and her voice carried such strength. Such hope. She was in the midst of an intense battleground, and I think she felt as if it was a losing thing most of the time. She was strong and independent – street smart – and having trouble assimilating that part of herself with her newly discovered faith in Jesus. I think she felt that as a young woman she was supposed to be compliant, pious, and quiet.

But she was engaged in a battle for her life. A battle with addiction. A battle for mental health. A battle for survival, and compliant, pious, and quiet just weren’t cutting it. Then, a mutual friend of ours (the one who also introduced me to this particular CD and artist) gave her a copy of Rita Springer’s “Effortless” album, and suggested that she would perhaps enjoy the song “Holy Visitation” where Springer cries out for the presence of God, and declares boldly that she is ready and able to stand up and fight. And my friend found such encouragement in that. Such strength and hope in the midst of the darkest hours of the night.

There are so many songs on that album that have stories like this one for me. Songs that God has used over and over to call me to intercede. To encourage friends of mine. To simply worship Him. Some of the songs have more than one story to go with them.

And so, as this album has surfaced in my collection again lately, and I’ve been listening to it on repeat all day as I sit at work, sticking labels on envelopes, my heart is again being called to pray. To pray for many friends. To pray for those I love dearly. And to simply worship. And in the midst of that, today, my heart remembers her. I’ve lost track of her now, though I’m fairly certain she’s made a new life in a different province. But every so often she comes to mind, in moments like today, and my heart still whispers a prayer for her.