Reasons to Keep Going

I'm feeling pretty buried by life tonight. Really reaching for reasons to smile. I'm looking into booking a hotel room or figuring out a way to get away by myself for a few hours this weekend... just time to hash some things out... with God, with myself... I'm pretty much taking life 24 hours at a time these days... It's all I have energy to handle right now...

Here are a few of the (rather weak, I know) reasons to keep going - the little things that are bright spots, the things I'm looking forward to right now:

• tomorrow is casual day, and I get to wear jeans to work
• it's Friday, which means there's a weekend coming, and hopefully a little bit of rest
• I'm watching the Grey's Anatomy season finale as I write this
• I'm having Subway for lunch tomorrow with a friend
  
• On Sunday, I get a break from fasting again, and I can eat chocolate, and dessert, and pastries from this fabulous little bakery we discovered last weekend
• one of my roommate's is out of town, and I have her car, which means I get a day off of taking the train to and from work, and a day without being cussed out by random mentally ill people (which has been happening a lot lately)
• the fact that my dreams are continuing to get more intense and vivid must mean that this whole mess is climaxing, and will have to end soon
• in a few weeks I'm going to visit a very dear friend for a weekend
• next week I'm getting a much needed haircut, and my once yearly splurge on highlights (red AND blonde)
• I'm hanging with a couple of very good friends in the coming week
• I DON'T have to teach Sunday school this week
• I'm going to make time to go to the park, even if it's pouring rain
• I'm going to buy special gifts for some friends this weekend
• I'm going to pray (or try anyway...)
• I'm still alive
• and breathing
• I'm loved
• by Jesus
• by people who I love deeply in return

So, I'm buried... but I'm going to keep going. For chocolate, and the promise of a hug in an airport, and time laughing with my best friend, and eating with another friend, for walking in a park, for pastries from a bakery, and maybe a glass of wine. For wearing jeans to work, and a week off from teaching. For a day without anyone cussing me out (in my hearing anyway). Because I'm loved, and because I love others. Because breathing still seems to be the best option.