Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Unsettling

I'm feeling edgy and unsettled today.

In the last week and a half I've had two dreams that seem related to an event happening very soon that I'm attending. A significant event that I and a number of other people have been anticipating. In both dreams, however, things were wrong. People were behaving in ways that I know they don't. There were themes of illness through both. This theme of breath (or lack thereof) keeps appearing. I woke up out of the second dream this morning, and it's left me a bit edgy.

I'm meeting someone tonight who has had some major changes that can either be positive or negative in her life (they seem undecided at this point) since the last time I saw her. The meeting is also weighing heavily on my mind.

I slept very poorly last night, despite a relaxed mind, body and spirit.

I wonder sometimes, if the way I experience spiritual opposition has to do with my emotional and physical energy simply becoming drained from my very being.

I am taking part in something that I believe will be significant this weekend, and knew, going into the week, that opposition could step up again. I think I'm feeling it, and today, it feels like I'm losing.

Praying for peace, for a quiet heart. Working to listen, and be willing to hear, act and speak if necessary.

Feeling unsettled, and seeing a toll in my physical body. Exhaustion, stomach issues, tight muscles that are causing pain.

Praying for peace. Listening to David Crowder Band's "A Collision". A good soundtrack for this sort of mood. Feeling like death and darkness will win, and fighting with everything I have to remember the victory is already won.

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