Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Telling my story - again

I was re-reading this post that I wrote earlier this spring. In it I talked about how I continue to discover that one of the most powerful things God has given me to speak is my own story of depression and healing.

What I hadn't realized as fully then, is how telling the story impacts me. Each time I speak honestly, and break the silence that had for so long surrounded that part of my life, I experience a growing sense of freedom.

I was with someone I've known my entire life last night. We met for coffee to talk about some upcoming church commitments I've made. And somehow, as we talked about those things, about the things I'm beginning to dream and plan for this year with the teenagers and young adults I'll be working with, we began to talk about my past. And the depression came up. So I very honestly mentioned that from about the age of 16 until about the age of 22, I was severely depressed, at times suicidal. The conversation went on from there, it wasn't something we dwelt on, but it stuck out for me.

There is a growing sense of freedom as I speak those words and tell that story.

I was thinking this morning as I walked from the train to my office about how very often I still wake up in the morning stunned at the miracle of healing that Jesus has worked and continues to work in my life. How over the top ecstatic I am to find myself in this place - to feel, to be alive, to know that freedom is an ever-increasing thing in my life.

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