Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 275

Today's Daily 5:

1. tulips blooming
2. The new television show, The Voice
3. baking cookies
4. an afternoon nap
5. a house church leaders meeting (and meal together) tonight

Labyrinth

On Monday I met up with a dear friend at an old church downtown, and together we walked a labyrinth.

In the past I've walked labyrinths with something specific in mind to pray through as I walked.  Monday wasn't like that.  After spending a week flat on my back sick last week, I didn't have anything specific in mind to pray through on this trip.  I simply started walking and let my heart be open to God's leading.

I was struck by the need to focus only on the steps just in front of me if I was going to stay on the path.

I was caught by the experience of walking the path with a friend.  Sometimes ahead and sometimes behind, sometimes parallel and sometimes walking in different directions, but together, sharing the journey.

And as I walked, I pondered what was the word for the walk, and thought about my one word for the year, "heal".  The word for the walk was "peace".  The last couple weeks have been filled with some really hard decisions and not a lot of peace.  So I walked and focused on the steps just in front of me, and breathed deeply, and let peace come.

I thought about how "heal" hasn't looked anything like I thought it would on December 31st as I prayerfully chose it as my one word for the year.  It's looked totally different than I thought it would, and, if I'm honest, that has been discouraging at times.  It's involved humility, surrender, and a whole lot of wrestle.  And I thought about the need to simply focus on the step just in front of me, to just see that step, that moment of healing, instead of becoming overwhelmed by the immensity of the myriad of steps beyond that.  I thought about the friends who are walking this journey with me, encouraging and praying for me.

And I thought about a dozen other little things, as God's voice took over and I walked and prayed.

It was such a lovely thing to share that sacred quiet space with a friend.  The silence was so needed, and the peace it carried with it was precisely what my soul needed after the last few weeks.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 274

Today's Daily 5:

1. planting flowers
2. a long, hot shower
3. a super lazy morning
4. feeling a bit like myself
5. making it through a more challenging, melancholy day, with relative peace

Insite, Harm Reduction, Poverty, Drugs and Faith

A month or so ago I had the chance to hear Meera Bai speak about her time working at Insite, North America's only legalized drug injection site, located in Vancouver's downtown eastside.  She spoke passionately about her time at InSite, and the importance of harm reduction, and how that fits with her Christian faith.  Tonight I came across these youtube interviews with Meera, and had to share them.  If you have the time to watch one, or all of them, I recommend them, if for nothing else than that they provide a very challenging perspective.

You can also sign a petition here asking the Federal Government to withdraw their lawsuit seeking to close Insite.  It will take two minutes of your time if you're willing to add your voice to this important cause.

One Year

A year ago today, my life changed drastically.

At the end of the work day, I was called into a manager's office, and told that my three year tenure with the company at which I was employed had come to an end.  Immediately.  They watched as I packed my office, escorted me down the elevator to a taxi, and sent on my way, with decisions to make about signing documents and severance.

I did a lot of crying, consulted a few trusted advisers, gritted my teeth, decided to take the money I was being offered, and choose to see this as God's hand moving me forward.  Two days later I left for a two week road trip with my dad, and a few weeks after that I announced that I was going to pursue nursing as a career.

A year later, I can tell you that my life, though it looks nothing like I thought it might, is better for the end of my tenure at the company that my roommates referred to as "the soap opera." 

But there remains painful twinges, as I think about that day.  It's a bit of a humiliating thing to have a job end that way.  Escorted out as if you can't be trusted.  No chance to say goodbye to the friends you've shared the days with for three plus years.

It wasn't the start to a new path that I would have chosen.  It's yet another thing in my life where I have to look at it and say, "even with that, I trust you, Jesus."

It has ushered in new and unexpected things, and today, as I ponder them, as I ponder this year of healing, I feel just a bit melancholy and sad.  It's different than I would have chosen, because so rarely do my plans seem to be in synch with God's, but it's good.  Today I'm thinking about the losses of this year of deconstruction, and praying for the healing and rebuilding that has begun.