Relieved

I'm still in bed.  And it's not because I'm sick.

For the first time in ten weeks, this morning I have no studying waiting for me.

And the relief is sweet.

This summer has been challenging as I studied, and began to deal with all kinds of personal stuff from my past that was also surfacing.

I wrote my last exam yesterday. and I'm spending this morning in bed.  Resting.  Thinking.  Praying.

Even my subconscious felt the relief, and even my dreams shifted gears this morning before I woke.  Towards all the personal stuff, now that the burden of studying has been removed.

And so, the journey continues.  And I'm committed to it.

But this morning I'm enjoying the relief of being done, and the feeling of shifting direction again.

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 12

Today's Daily 5:

1. a good hair day
2. a mom who reassured me that it was okay to not be studying this morning if my brain just couldn't take anymore
3. being buoyed on the prayers of friends
4. supernatural peace
5. wearing a new scarf - a gift that arrived in the mail from Germany this week
6. the body worlds exhibit - very cool after studying anatomy for the last two months
7. writing my last exam and finishing up school for the summer
8. Vietnamese sub sandwich
9. house church
10. baby giggles

What makes you alive?

I am writing my last final exam today.  The anatomy exam that I've been worrying about, (and trying not to worry about) for the last week or two.  I have been reminding myself that I am doing this because I am moving towards a goal that makes me feel alive.

I came across this quote recently, and loved it.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive.
And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

- Howard Thurman

What makes you feel alive?  Are you doing that?

Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 11

Today's Daily 5:

1. A mostly peaceful day
2. Not feeling too panicked about tomorrow's exam
3. the benefits of a mid-day nap
4. old episodes of Grey's Anatomy on dvd
5. escaping the house, even for a few minutes, on random errands.

Final Push

This is it.  Final push day.

In case you haven't guessed, most of the posts happening this week were scheduled on the weekend.  This is the crazy week.  Two finals, a quiz and an assignment.  And then I'll be done.

Yesterday I wrote the first final (stats) and was pleased with how it went.  I also submitted the assignment that I'd completed the day before, and I did the final anatomy quiz.  (Not stellar, but better than I'd hoped, I think.)

What's left is my anatomy final, tomorrow afternoon.  This is a class with pages and pages and pages of very detailed notes to cover, and my brain has been exhausted.  It's really just too much information to absorb.  But this is it, and I have a plan, involving chapter by chapter review, and answering lots and lots of multiple choice questions.  Today, I feel relatively peaceful.  I know myself well, and I'm quite aware that that could change as the day goes on, and as I hit roadblocks that demonstrate how much I DON'T know in certain areas. 

I've been reminding myself all week to be gentle with myself.  To offer the best that I have to this school work, and to be okay when the best means that it's less than I know I have been capable of at other points in my life.  To not feel guilty for the fact that I've needed naps every day this week so far, and that I've lost a precious four or five hours of studying to those naps.  I've already acknowledged to myself this morning that I will likely need to nap today, as well.  And I've reminded myself that it is okay to take the evening off, and not study, study, study until bedtime.

Tomorrow morning I'll do some final review and then I'll write the exam.  And then the rest of my day will be full.

But, in the meantime, I'm doing a little bit of puttering.  Settling myself in for the day.  Writing this blog post.  Tackling a bunch of little online tasks - some fun stuff, and some things that are just part of the daily routine.  I'm eating breakfast.  And I'm telling myself that I'm going to do my very best to hang onto this "calm before the storm" feeling, even when the storm starts in earnest. 

I'd appreciate your prayers as I study today and tomorrow morning, and as I write the exam tomorrow afternoon. 

And, I'll be back, with some scheduled and some unscheduled posts through the next several days as well!  See you then!