Daily 5 - Day 289

Today's Daily 5:

1. The scent of frankincense and myrrh
2. The glow of a candle
3. An unexpected peace
4. spent the day at mom and dad's, did laundry, mooched a wonderful lasagna supper.
5. some challenging emails and wise advice from a dear friend as I worked through a challenge I'm facing today/tonight in particular

but mostly, the scent of frankincense and myrrh...

Daily 5 - Day 279 - 288

Can I be honest?  I didn't keep daily 5 lists for the last 10 days or so.  At least not on paper or here on the blog.  I did sort of store them in my head and heart a bit, I guess.

I didn't actually do almost any of the things that were sort of part of the routine of my life.  Suddenly and unexpectedly losing your job, and then taking off on a very unplanned (on my part - my dad had planned for it, I guess) road trip across the continent sort of have that effect on routine.  And, I spent a lot of time in a car and/or sleeping.

But I have a list, a longish one, formulating in my head of the things that made me smile over the course of the time away, and I thought I'd give a shot to jotting it down here, and just consider that the "daily 5" for days 279 through 288.

We'll see how this rhythm pans out in the coming days... it's important to me to make these lists, but seems hard to focus on getting back into it.  It feels like the sort of thing that seems lost in uncertainty at the moment.  In the meantime, here's the longish list I was alluding to:

1. A corn dog at the gas station in Claresholm on our first day of traveling.  Seems a weird thing, but I've always kind of enjoyed corn dogs, and they're a maybe once annually treat, so it was fun to have one on the very first day of driving.
2. A smooth border crossing.  Crossing into the states can be hit and miss.  My dad says his all time worst border crossing ever (and he's travelled in Africa, South America, and Eastern Europe) was at the particular port of entry we were using.  However, this day, the guard was friendly and joking with us.
3. The occasional chances I had to check email and finding encouraging notes and blog comments from friends near and far
4. The burger at Wendy's that was almost vegetarian.  The lady working that night didn't usually work the evening shift and was really frazzled.  She managed to get my order mostly right, but forgot to put the hamburger patty on the bun!  It necessitated a quick trip back inside to get my meal rectified before we headed out.
5. Unexpected adventures - we spent one night sleeping in the SUV at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere Montana.  Mostly because when we arrived very late at the town we'd been heading for, we discovered there was a high school athletic event in town and every hotel was full.
6. Applebee's salads.  Also, Applebee's in general is way cheaper in the states.
7. Visiting over lunch with an aunt and uncle I hadn't seen in probably 8 years, and seeing my cousin (hadn't seen him in at least 10 years) and meeting his 4 year old daughter for the first time.
8. Lot's of quiet on the road.  Not much need to talk, not even to listen too much to audio books or music.  Just lots of space with our thoughts.
9. Sleeping in the car.  I sleep quite well in a moving car.  Not deeply, but relatively restfully, and I spent a good part of the first few days simply sleeping.
10. Emily.  Emily is my dad's new GPS.  She's delightfully British and has a horribly one track mind that gets very confused by food and bathroom and gas stops.   We talked to her kind of a lot - usually when we were stopping and it wasn't in her plans.
11. The Chicago detour.  We managed to arrive on the outskirts of Chicago just at rush hour on a Friday.  Bad move.  But Emily takes traffic into account, and took us on this crazy detour.  We drove through a part of Chicago we'd definitely never seen before, and saw the most beautiful cemetery and mausoleum.  Seriously, the architechture on this mausoleum was stunning.
12. Finally getting to see "The Blindside"
13. Celebrating T & L's wedding all over again with her family and friends from a different part of the country.
14. Spending about a day and a half with a very dear friend, talking, praying, being with some of her friends.
15. A hug from this particular friend.  It was so good to be in her arms again.
16. A very special gift of an antique Catholic prayer book, in Spanish.  But also the deep love and knowledge of my heart that was demonstrated in the giving.
17. reading a couple different books, beginning to end. (reading list to be updated in the coming days.)
18. being distant/separate from the routines of life while I began to process the sudden loss of my job, and the changes of life it will bring.
19. Another smooth border crossing back into the US.  Seriously, they were really good this trip, and while I've never had a terribly bad experience, the guards are rarely as kind and joking and good natured as they were this trip.
20. A slight detour to Grand Rapids and the Eerdmans publishing house bookstore.  Oh. My. Goodness.  Can you just say heaven for three people who love books as much as my dad and T and I?  I think poor L wasn't quite sure what to do with us, to be honest.  Basically it's a bookstore attached to the headquarters of Eerdmans publishing house (one of the large Christian publishers) that carries their titles, but also titles from a whole variety of other Christian publishers (i.e. Zondervan etc.) as well.  Books in general are cheaper in the states than in Canada, but the best part about this particular store is that they sell the "seconds" the copies of their books that have slight damage to the cover or whatever, and can't be shipped out to their retailers.  And they sell these "seconds" at vastly reduced prices (think around $5 a book for a book generally sold for $20.)  I spent about $100 and bought somewhere around 15 books.  According to my receipt, I saved about $107.  Sweet!  It's probably a good thing I don't live anywhere near there!
21. Time with more family.  We spent a night with an aunt and uncle and two cousins of mine in Wisconsin.  Another aunt, and my grandpa and his wife all came to join us for supper.  It had probably been 8-10 years since I'd seen my grandpa, and he's aging (86 now, I think) so it was good to see him, as well as the rest of our relatives who we see/talk to quite rarely.
22. Wisconsin cheese.  Yes, I'm lactose intolerant.  Yes, I had a stomach ache the next day.  But that cheese was just SO good.  Seriously, we just don't get cheese like that in Western Canada without spending quite a lot of money at a specialty shop, so it's always a treat to be in Wisconsin.
23. listening to "Velvet Elvis" and "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" on audio book while we drove
24. Almond Joy bars
25. Laughing at my dad's excitement to share "Culver's Butter Burger" with us.  (Culver's is a mid-Western hamburger chain that we don't have in Western Canada, and that my dad really likes.)
26. Safe travels the whole way, though we did leave temperatures of about 30C in Ontario and arrive back in Alberta to snow and temperatures hovering just above 0C.
27. A very much needed and affordable break in action as I began to absorb the changes that have overtaken my life, and the added bonus of getting to see a very dear friend.
28. Laughing at T's grin last night when Mom and Dad and I gave them the wedding gift we'd purchased.  It was a particular pot set that he'd been teasing L about getting for months, and we'd gone ahead and bought it.  It was fun to see his face as they opened it together.  It was fun, too, to take pictures and watch as they opened their wedding gifts last night and shared the process with her parents in Ontario via skype.
29. Robert Benson.  I don't think I've ever been disappointed by one of his books.  I read another one (rather timely I might add) that I bought in Grand Rapids in the car on the way home.  I'm sure it'll be showing up here on the blog in due course.
30. Reading my first novel in nearly 2 years.  It had been a while, for a variety of reasons, but this trip someone seemed the right moment to begin to gently and carefully ease some of those mostly self-imposed restrictions, and it was refreshing to do so.

Daily 5 - Day 278

Today's Daily 5:

1. Encouragement from a variety of friends
2. Closing off the loose ends with my unexpected change of employment yesterday
3. the support of my parents
4. a treatment from Mom
5. that it will work out for me to make a road trip for the next couple weeks.

Big Changes

I sent the following update email out to a number of friends tonight.  As you'll read, I'm unexpectedly leaving town tomorrow for the next couple of weeks.  It'll be quiet here, as I likely won't have internet access.  I don't have time to schedule posts, and I will likely have to keep track of my daily 5 in a journal for a couple weeks.  See you on the other side.

Hi Everyone!

I'm beginning to feel like my life has taken on some kind of crazy force of it's own, but I'm now facing another huge change.

I lost my job yesterday.  They didn't give me reasons for the dismissal, but did offer me an acceptable severance package.  I prayed about it and discussed it with some close to me, and chose not to fight this legally, but to accept their package and move on.  I signed off on that today.

I'm obviously quite stunned, but I really do believe that I'm going to be okay, and that God's hand is even in this.

I'd come to the realization late last week that it was once again time to begin pursuing other employment, and had set those thoughts aside while I celebrated my brother T's wedding to a lovely girl, and gained a sister over the weekend.

I had no warning that this was coming, but it came.

I spent a great deal of last night talking with my parents and crying and making decisions.

I'm choosing to see this as a blessing.  As a chance to pursue better employment.

I have a safe financial cushion for a while, but will begin to look for work shortly.  If you know of something in the administrative field in Calgary that you think might work for me, I'd love if you would let me know.

However, I'm first going to take a bit of time to rest and recoup from the incredible stress and challenges not just of the last couple months (that many of you are aware of) but of the last couple of years.  I'm leaving around noon tomorrow to spend the next two weeks or so road-tripping with my dad.  This is, in itself a miracle.  God has brought much healing in my relationships with my parents over the last year or so, and I saw moments of incredible breakthrough even last night as they held me and prayed for me and as we discussed how I would handle this situation.  He had already planned to make this trip, driving, to attend the Ontario reception for my brother and his wife (she's from Ontario, originally) and then drive them home from their Ontario honeymoon and reception to save them the cost of plane fair.  Because I'm no longer employed, it has worked out for me to travel with him (my mom is flying out later in the week.)  The trip also holds the likelihood that I will get to spend a bit of time with a very dear friend who lives not too far from where my sister-in-law grew up, and I'm very excited about that as well.  I'm choosing to see this chance to spend time with my dad as a blessing - for greater healing in our relationship, but also as a chance for me to rest and heal from the many things that have come my way these last few years.  While I've never liked driving, I've always loved being a passenger, and loved long road trips.  A vehicle is one of the few places where I consistently manage to get in restful naps, as well.

There were many odd confirmations that this loss of my job, though a blow to my ego, is a blessing right now.

Funny little things, and some bigger things too.

Yesterday I received in my email inbox the "song of the month" written a friend of mine named Karla.  I'd first heard her play this particular song a number of years back, and hadn't heard it since.  When I'd first heard it, it had moved me deeply, challenging me to really pursue what God had placed within me, and really, just to pursue a depth and intimacy of relationship with Christ.  It's arrival again yesterday in my inbox, with such ironic timing (I didn't discover what song it was that she'd sent until later last night) made me smile, feeling again like a confirmation from God to really continue to pursue relationship with him, and to trust Him to provide rightly.

So, I will be mostly out of contact (though I'll likely be able to check email or facebook occasionally) until the end of the month.

And then I'll be back from my trip, and will update my resume and begin the process of looking for work.  I'm going to take the time I'm away to really think and pray for God's leading even in this, and would love if you would pray that with me.

I'd also love for you to pray for continued healing of my heart, and of my relationship with my dad as we travel together.  In many ways it is becoming more and more unlikely that we will be able to make trips like these, and I really want to cherish this time and see it blessed and fruitful.

I'd also ask that you pray for the continued ability to choose to see this as a blessing, and joyfully.  That bitterness over the unjust way I was treated will not be able to take root in my heart.

That I will know the ability to rest deeply in the trust that God has grown within me for him, and for his hands in my life.

I love you all, and am praying for each of you as well.

Hugs friends!

Lisa

Daily 5 - Day 277

Today's daily 5:

1. Sunshine
2. Buying a wedding gift with mom
3. a long advice filled conversation about some life changes with my parents
4. being held
5. knowing a weirdly deep peace in some very unsettled circumstances