- Encouragement from a variety of friends
- Closing off the loose ends with my unexpected change of employment yesterday
- the support of my parents
- a treatment from Mom
- that it will work out for me to make a road trip for the next couple weeks.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 278
Today's Daily 5:
Big Changes
I sent the following update email out to a number of friends tonight. As you'll read, I'm unexpectedly leaving town tomorrow for the next couple of weeks. It'll be quiet here, as I likely won't have internet access. I don't have time to schedule posts, and I will likely have to keep track of my daily 5 in a journal for a couple weeks. See you on the other side.
Hi Everyone!
I'm beginning to feel like my life has taken on some kind of crazy force of it's own, but I'm now facing another huge change.
I lost my job yesterday. They didn't give me reasons for the dismissal, but did offer me an acceptable severance package. I prayed about it and discussed it with some close to me, and chose not to fight this legally, but to accept their package and move on. I signed off on that today.
I'm obviously quite stunned, but I really do believe that I'm going to be okay, and that God's hand is even in this.
I'd come to the realization late last week that it was once again time to begin pursuing other employment, and had set those thoughts aside while I celebrated my brother T's wedding to a lovely girl, and gained a sister over the weekend.
I had no warning that this was coming, but it came.
I spent a great deal of last night talking with my parents and crying and making decisions.
I'm choosing to see this as a blessing. As a chance to pursue better employment.
I have a safe financial cushion for a while, but will begin to look for work shortly. If you know of something in the administrative field in Calgary that you think might work for me, I'd love if you would let me know.
However, I'm first going to take a bit of time to rest and recoup from the incredible stress and challenges not just of the last couple months (that many of you are aware of) but of the last couple of years. I'm leaving around noon tomorrow to spend the next two weeks or so road-tripping with my dad. This is, in itself a miracle. God has brought much healing in my relationships with my parents over the last year or so, and I saw moments of incredible breakthrough even last night as they held me and prayed for me and as we discussed how I would handle this situation. He had already planned to make this trip, driving, to attend the Ontario reception for my brother and his wife (she's from Ontario, originally) and then drive them home from their Ontario honeymoon and reception to save them the cost of plane fair. Because I'm no longer employed, it has worked out for me to travel with him (my mom is flying out later in the week.) The trip also holds the likelihood that I will get to spend a bit of time with a very dear friend who lives not too far from where my sister-in-law grew up, and I'm very excited about that as well. I'm choosing to see this chance to spend time with my dad as a blessing - for greater healing in our relationship, but also as a chance for me to rest and heal from the many things that have come my way these last few years. While I've never liked driving, I've always loved being a passenger, and loved long road trips. A vehicle is one of the few places where I consistently manage to get in restful naps, as well.
There were many odd confirmations that this loss of my job, though a blow to my ego, is a blessing right now.
Funny little things, and some bigger things too.
Yesterday I received in my email inbox the "song of the month" written a friend of mine named Karla. I'd first heard her play this particular song a number of years back, and hadn't heard it since. When I'd first heard it, it had moved me deeply, challenging me to really pursue what God had placed within me, and really, just to pursue a depth and intimacy of relationship with Christ. It's arrival again yesterday in my inbox, with such ironic timing (I didn't discover what song it was that she'd sent until later last night) made me smile, feeling again like a confirmation from God to really continue to pursue relationship with him, and to trust Him to provide rightly.
So, I will be mostly out of contact (though I'll likely be able to check email or facebook occasionally) until the end of the month.
And then I'll be back from my trip, and will update my resume and begin the process of looking for work. I'm going to take the time I'm away to really think and pray for God's leading even in this, and would love if you would pray that with me.
I'd also love for you to pray for continued healing of my heart, and of my relationship with my dad as we travel together. In many ways it is becoming more and more unlikely that we will be able to make trips like these, and I really want to cherish this time and see it blessed and fruitful.
I'd also ask that you pray for the continued ability to choose to see this as a blessing, and joyfully. That bitterness over the unjust way I was treated will not be able to take root in my heart.
That I will know the ability to rest deeply in the trust that God has grown within me for him, and for his hands in my life.
I love you all, and am praying for each of you as well.
Hugs friends!
Lisa
Hi Everyone!
I'm beginning to feel like my life has taken on some kind of crazy force of it's own, but I'm now facing another huge change.
I lost my job yesterday. They didn't give me reasons for the dismissal, but did offer me an acceptable severance package. I prayed about it and discussed it with some close to me, and chose not to fight this legally, but to accept their package and move on. I signed off on that today.
I'm obviously quite stunned, but I really do believe that I'm going to be okay, and that God's hand is even in this.
I'd come to the realization late last week that it was once again time to begin pursuing other employment, and had set those thoughts aside while I celebrated my brother T's wedding to a lovely girl, and gained a sister over the weekend.
I had no warning that this was coming, but it came.
I spent a great deal of last night talking with my parents and crying and making decisions.
I'm choosing to see this as a blessing. As a chance to pursue better employment.
I have a safe financial cushion for a while, but will begin to look for work shortly. If you know of something in the administrative field in Calgary that you think might work for me, I'd love if you would let me know.
However, I'm first going to take a bit of time to rest and recoup from the incredible stress and challenges not just of the last couple months (that many of you are aware of) but of the last couple of years. I'm leaving around noon tomorrow to spend the next two weeks or so road-tripping with my dad. This is, in itself a miracle. God has brought much healing in my relationships with my parents over the last year or so, and I saw moments of incredible breakthrough even last night as they held me and prayed for me and as we discussed how I would handle this situation. He had already planned to make this trip, driving, to attend the Ontario reception for my brother and his wife (she's from Ontario, originally) and then drive them home from their Ontario honeymoon and reception to save them the cost of plane fair. Because I'm no longer employed, it has worked out for me to travel with him (my mom is flying out later in the week.) The trip also holds the likelihood that I will get to spend a bit of time with a very dear friend who lives not too far from where my sister-in-law grew up, and I'm very excited about that as well. I'm choosing to see this chance to spend time with my dad as a blessing - for greater healing in our relationship, but also as a chance for me to rest and heal from the many things that have come my way these last few years. While I've never liked driving, I've always loved being a passenger, and loved long road trips. A vehicle is one of the few places where I consistently manage to get in restful naps, as well.
There were many odd confirmations that this loss of my job, though a blow to my ego, is a blessing right now.
Funny little things, and some bigger things too.
Yesterday I received in my email inbox the "song of the month" written a friend of mine named Karla. I'd first heard her play this particular song a number of years back, and hadn't heard it since. When I'd first heard it, it had moved me deeply, challenging me to really pursue what God had placed within me, and really, just to pursue a depth and intimacy of relationship with Christ. It's arrival again yesterday in my inbox, with such ironic timing (I didn't discover what song it was that she'd sent until later last night) made me smile, feeling again like a confirmation from God to really continue to pursue relationship with him, and to trust Him to provide rightly.
So, I will be mostly out of contact (though I'll likely be able to check email or facebook occasionally) until the end of the month.
And then I'll be back from my trip, and will update my resume and begin the process of looking for work. I'm going to take the time I'm away to really think and pray for God's leading even in this, and would love if you would pray that with me.
I'd also love for you to pray for continued healing of my heart, and of my relationship with my dad as we travel together. In many ways it is becoming more and more unlikely that we will be able to make trips like these, and I really want to cherish this time and see it blessed and fruitful.
I'd also ask that you pray for the continued ability to choose to see this as a blessing, and joyfully. That bitterness over the unjust way I was treated will not be able to take root in my heart.
That I will know the ability to rest deeply in the trust that God has grown within me for him, and for his hands in my life.
I love you all, and am praying for each of you as well.
Hugs friends!
Lisa
Monday, May 17, 2010
Daily 5 - Day 277
Today's daily 5:
- Sunshine
- Buying a wedding gift with mom
- a long advice filled conversation about some life changes with my parents
- being held
- knowing a weirdly deep peace in some very unsettled circumstances
After I Feel the Sun on My Face
Whenever I'm walking on a warm spring day, thankful that winter seems to have receded, a lyric that my friend Karla penned tends to come back to me, especially if it's been a particularly rough season of time.
Karla wrote, "And after I feel the sun on my face/ my soul, it will sprout again/ and I might become a tangled mess of love and fear and faith..."
I think of that line, and pray for sprouting.
I think of that line and remember a moment overseas, walking with a friend, when that lyric first hit me. When I felt that stirring of growth within me, seemingly out of season.
I was thinking of both of those things today as I walked to get lunch and felt the sun on my face, restoring my exhausted body and soul.
I was thinking of how many things changed after that moment overseas, and how it seemed for a season that all growth had been snuffed out.
That there was only death and cold and winter.
I'm feeling the stirrings of growth within me again these days.
It's both a welcome and familar, and totally uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling.
I was reflecting that it seems to have been a long process of germination, these years of time between those first stirrings and now. And how now I don't expect a sudden growth or sprouting, but more of a slow thing. I believe that the sudden sprouting can and may happen, but I don't think I invest myself fully in expecting that anymore.
And maybe that's okay too.
Maybe that, too, is growth.
In any case, as exhausted as I am. As challenging as some facets of life remain, I feel that stirring of growth.
And I welcome it.
Karla wrote, "And after I feel the sun on my face/ my soul, it will sprout again/ and I might become a tangled mess of love and fear and faith..."
I think of that line, and pray for sprouting.
I think of that line and remember a moment overseas, walking with a friend, when that lyric first hit me. When I felt that stirring of growth within me, seemingly out of season.
I was thinking of both of those things today as I walked to get lunch and felt the sun on my face, restoring my exhausted body and soul.
I was thinking of how many things changed after that moment overseas, and how it seemed for a season that all growth had been snuffed out.
That there was only death and cold and winter.
I'm feeling the stirrings of growth within me again these days.
It's both a welcome and familar, and totally uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling.
I was reflecting that it seems to have been a long process of germination, these years of time between those first stirrings and now. And how now I don't expect a sudden growth or sprouting, but more of a slow thing. I believe that the sudden sprouting can and may happen, but I don't think I invest myself fully in expecting that anymore.
And maybe that's okay too.
Maybe that, too, is growth.
In any case, as exhausted as I am. As challenging as some facets of life remain, I feel that stirring of growth.
And I welcome it.
The Practice of Awareness
I received the following in my email from Richard Rohr this morning, and really appreciated it:
All spiritual teachers tell us “DO NOT JUDGE.” For those of us raised in a religious setting, this is very difficult. In a strange way, religion gave us all a Ph.D. in judgmentalism. It trained us very early in life to categorize, label, and critique. It told us all about worthiness and unworthiness. This judgmental mind told us what is right and wrong, who is gay or straight, and who is good or bad. This sort of mind never creates great people, because everybody has to fit into our way of thinking. At an early age our grid was complete. We had decided who fit in and who did not fit in. We fashioned our own little world.
Christianity that divides the world in this manner and eliminates all troublesome people and all ideas different from our way of thinking cannot be mature religion. It cannot see the multiple gifts of each moment, nor the dark side that coexists with it. This mind does not lead us to awareness, and above all, this mind will find it impossible to contemplate. To practice awareness means you live in a spirit of communion; your world becomes alive and very spacious, and not divided by mere mental labels.
(Richard Rohr)
All spiritual teachers tell us “DO NOT JUDGE.” For those of us raised in a religious setting, this is very difficult. In a strange way, religion gave us all a Ph.D. in judgmentalism. It trained us very early in life to categorize, label, and critique. It told us all about worthiness and unworthiness. This judgmental mind told us what is right and wrong, who is gay or straight, and who is good or bad. This sort of mind never creates great people, because everybody has to fit into our way of thinking. At an early age our grid was complete. We had decided who fit in and who did not fit in. We fashioned our own little world.
Christianity that divides the world in this manner and eliminates all troublesome people and all ideas different from our way of thinking cannot be mature religion. It cannot see the multiple gifts of each moment, nor the dark side that coexists with it. This mind does not lead us to awareness, and above all, this mind will find it impossible to contemplate. To practice awareness means you live in a spirit of communion; your world becomes alive and very spacious, and not divided by mere mental labels.
(Richard Rohr)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
