I had somewhat of a frustrating evening, long, and, because of the exhaustion from last night's lack of sleep, emotional.
I made a quick trip to the grocery store tonight, and, while contemplating what to pack for lunches this week, spotted some pasta that drew my attention (spinach and cheese ravioli). A quick trip to the aisle with sauces, picked up some sun-dried tomato pesto, and at the check-out stand a Kit-Kat bar, and headed for home. Some quick cooking left me with a satisfying meal, so I pulled on my pygamas, curled up in my chair with the plate of pasta, and watched an episode of Gray's Anatomy on my laptop.
This was exactly what was needed, for I had hit the point in exhaustion where everything makes me want to cry, and I needed the quiet, the rich food, the chocolate, and the little bit of melodrama to relax my brain and chill out for a while.
And, with that, I'm off to bed. I'm tired, work promises to continue at a dizzying pace this week, and I'd like to read a bit before making yet another attempt at sleep (with prayer first this time!) See you all tomorrow or the next day!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
The price of a re-learned lesson
(wrote this before church this morning)
Did you ever have one of those lessons that you keep having to learn over and over, even though it should have become obvious by this point, because it affects a central area of your daily life?
I was reminded of one of those again last night.
I went to an evening of worship put on by some friends last night, out for drinks with them afterwards, and then home to bed. Thanks to the time change, I was already short an hour of sleep.
Here’s the lesson: I forgot (again!) to pray God’s protection over my mind as I slept. Not a good mistake to make, especially after I’ve engaged in worship, and my spiritual awareness is heightened.
This time I paid the price and only got about 3-4 hours of sleep. Thanks to the combination of daylight savings, waking up every hour or so, and three consectutive versions of the same nightmare, stacked one on top of the other with slight variations to create variety, I am now sitting on the back row of church, watching the worship team set up and begin to practice for the service, and wondering how I’m going to keep my eyes open for the rest of the day. (And can I just say that if scientists and screenwriters could find a way to tap into my brain as I sleep, they could write some serious blockbuster style action-adventure dramas! And people wonder why I don’t watch many of that style of movie – why feed the fire? I come up with enough scary images all on my own!)
Let me just say that I WILL be praying protection over my mind tonight before I go to sleep!
Did you ever have one of those lessons that you keep having to learn over and over, even though it should have become obvious by this point, because it affects a central area of your daily life?
I was reminded of one of those again last night.
I went to an evening of worship put on by some friends last night, out for drinks with them afterwards, and then home to bed. Thanks to the time change, I was already short an hour of sleep.
Here’s the lesson: I forgot (again!) to pray God’s protection over my mind as I slept. Not a good mistake to make, especially after I’ve engaged in worship, and my spiritual awareness is heightened.
This time I paid the price and only got about 3-4 hours of sleep. Thanks to the combination of daylight savings, waking up every hour or so, and three consectutive versions of the same nightmare, stacked one on top of the other with slight variations to create variety, I am now sitting on the back row of church, watching the worship team set up and begin to practice for the service, and wondering how I’m going to keep my eyes open for the rest of the day. (And can I just say that if scientists and screenwriters could find a way to tap into my brain as I sleep, they could write some serious blockbuster style action-adventure dramas! And people wonder why I don’t watch many of that style of movie – why feed the fire? I come up with enough scary images all on my own!)
Let me just say that I WILL be praying protection over my mind tonight before I go to sleep!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Reevaluating
I'm going to spend some time this week praying and re-evaluating the whole girl's Bible study thing. I talked with the pastor I work with this morning, since he was at my house for a meeting with the church board anyway. We're going to meet sometime this week and do some re-evaluating. I think I may do girl's hang out nights or something for a while, something to build some relationships and create some community among the girls, hopefully bust through some of the pre-existing cliques and create a larger sense of belonging.
I had one girl show up this morning. We skipped the study in favor of breakfast at Denny's. Pancakes, hashbrowns, sausages, and good conversation. A good chance to connect and talk to her about the things that have been going on in her life the last while.
I'm not sure where this will go next... have to spend some time figuring that out.
I had one girl show up this morning. We skipped the study in favor of breakfast at Denny's. Pancakes, hashbrowns, sausages, and good conversation. A good chance to connect and talk to her about the things that have been going on in her life the last while.
I'm not sure where this will go next... have to spend some time figuring that out.
Compliments?
I was thinking yesterday about giving and receiving compliments.
I wore my hair in a different way than usual to work, by virtue of the fact that I overslept in the morning, and woke to curly hair going in every direction. With some quick work, I twisted it and piled it on top of my head in a fashion that looked cute (to me, in my bleary eyed early morning state, staring blankly at the mirror!) and seemed to show off the various red and blond shades that I paid a great deal of money to have added to my natural colors over a three hour time slot last weekend.
Apparently, however, the new style paid off, and I received a number of compliments on the style, and on my choice of clothing (also quick and utilitarian - designed around the fact that I had known I would be spending a large chunk of yesterday afternoon re-potting the office plants, and mucking around in the dirt).
However, there was one coworker (whom I generally find rather difficult to respect) who may have been trying (on two different occasions) to pay a genuine compliment, but came off as basically telling me that I should dress and wear my hair in this manner more regularly, because this looked "pretty" and the other ways and clothes do not.
The whole situation reminded me of the need to frame words carefully - to pay attention to even things like the tone with which they are delivered. I'm not sure this coworker in any way intended to be rude and critical (though he does have a general tendency to be tempermental and concerned about everything but his own job), but he came off this way none-the-less.
I wore my hair in a different way than usual to work, by virtue of the fact that I overslept in the morning, and woke to curly hair going in every direction. With some quick work, I twisted it and piled it on top of my head in a fashion that looked cute (to me, in my bleary eyed early morning state, staring blankly at the mirror!) and seemed to show off the various red and blond shades that I paid a great deal of money to have added to my natural colors over a three hour time slot last weekend.
Apparently, however, the new style paid off, and I received a number of compliments on the style, and on my choice of clothing (also quick and utilitarian - designed around the fact that I had known I would be spending a large chunk of yesterday afternoon re-potting the office plants, and mucking around in the dirt).
However, there was one coworker (whom I generally find rather difficult to respect) who may have been trying (on two different occasions) to pay a genuine compliment, but came off as basically telling me that I should dress and wear my hair in this manner more regularly, because this looked "pretty" and the other ways and clothes do not.
The whole situation reminded me of the need to frame words carefully - to pay attention to even things like the tone with which they are delivered. I'm not sure this coworker in any way intended to be rude and critical (though he does have a general tendency to be tempermental and concerned about everything but his own job), but he came off this way none-the-less.
Friday, March 09, 2007
Procrastinating
Right at this moment I should be preparing a Bible study. I have to teach one to a bunch of senior high and university girls tomorrow morning, and at this moment, with about 12 hours to go (hopefully some of those spent sleeping!) I have no earthly idea what we're going to talk about. We're supposed to be working our way through the Gospel of Mark, or at least that was my original plan, but I'm feeling somewhat uninspired about that plan just presently.
I'm finding it a rather immense challenge to lead a study for this group of girls. I never know who's coming from one week to the next, whether I'll have one girl, or three, or more (though I've never had more). The girls who had been regular attenders to this point can't make it tomorrow for an assortment of reasons, so it'll be a completely new bunch, with only one confirmed to be attending so far. Sometimes I wonder if we jumped into the whole study thing too soon? The youth pastor I'm working with was keen to get something started for the girls (he had the guys angle covered) but I have to wonder at times if it wasn't just that he wanted something to be happening for girls too? We may have rushed it a bit. I don't have huge levels of relationship or trust with most of the girls yet (though I do with some of the guys - mostly because I watched them grow up, while the girls are all new to the church). I'm just not entirely sure that this study is producing anything worthwhile, and that we shouldn't simply be organizing times of getting to know each other better, having coffees, shopping, and doing the things girls do together that still allow for great conversation, but take the pressure off...
Hard to say...
Well, now that I've lit candles around my room (maybe atmosphere is good for inspiration?) and procrastinated by writing a blog post, I suppose I better go do some praying, and see what I can come up with.
Is it really bad that I'm kind of hoping only one girl will show up, and then we can scrap the study entirely in favor of heading to a coffee shop to spend some time getting to know each other a bit better?
I'm finding it a rather immense challenge to lead a study for this group of girls. I never know who's coming from one week to the next, whether I'll have one girl, or three, or more (though I've never had more). The girls who had been regular attenders to this point can't make it tomorrow for an assortment of reasons, so it'll be a completely new bunch, with only one confirmed to be attending so far. Sometimes I wonder if we jumped into the whole study thing too soon? The youth pastor I'm working with was keen to get something started for the girls (he had the guys angle covered) but I have to wonder at times if it wasn't just that he wanted something to be happening for girls too? We may have rushed it a bit. I don't have huge levels of relationship or trust with most of the girls yet (though I do with some of the guys - mostly because I watched them grow up, while the girls are all new to the church). I'm just not entirely sure that this study is producing anything worthwhile, and that we shouldn't simply be organizing times of getting to know each other better, having coffees, shopping, and doing the things girls do together that still allow for great conversation, but take the pressure off...
Hard to say...
Well, now that I've lit candles around my room (maybe atmosphere is good for inspiration?) and procrastinated by writing a blog post, I suppose I better go do some praying, and see what I can come up with.
Is it really bad that I'm kind of hoping only one girl will show up, and then we can scrap the study entirely in favor of heading to a coffee shop to spend some time getting to know each other a bit better?
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