Simple Stillness

The flu that I have wrestled with since Christmas Day seems to finally be receding, and I'm recognizing that I've been away from school long enough that the desire to write, to find words, to read, is spilling out of me again.

And today, once I got through my third challenging work shift in three days, I've been embracing the beautiful stillness of that time away from school.

I ate lunch with my family (turkey soup, so good, my first real meal in days) and then headed home.

I dimmed all the lights except for those on my Christmas tree (and laptop), dressed in pajamas, and crawled into bed for a nap.  I'm not sure you've lived until you've drifted off for a Sunday afternoon nap with a favorite show playing on netflix, and the glowing lights of a Christmas tree reflecting off of the brightly colored ornaments I chose when I decided on a whim that this would be the year I'd once again have a tree in my living space.

Three hours I dozed, buried under the heavy weight of blankets, the softness of my newest faux fur throw tucked up around my neck.

And it was pretty much heavenly.

A week of flu has reminded me again of how much I appreciate simple joys.  How thankful I am for basic health that doesn't leave me out of breath after simply walking up the stairs.  How thankful I am when I am able to clean a little.  How lovely a hot shower feels after a week of illness.  The wonder of something soft against my face.  The joy of turkey soup and breaking an enforced fast.

And the glow of Christmas tree lights twinkling against pink and blue and green and purple ornaments.

Quick

I know it's been quiet around here, and, honestly, it might stay that way for a while.

That said, I will be back right around the new year with my usual post of thoughts and dreams.  I'm not sure if I'm going to choose a word this year, but I have a few on my mind that I'm playing with, so if I choose one, I'll be sure to write about that as well.

School commands my days, though I've been enjoying a nice Christmas break for the last week or two, with another week and a half to go.  In reality, I've spent the last two and a half days mostly in bed, down with some sort of flu bug that I'm just emerging from now.  I'm thankful to be emerging, but thankful too for the chance to simply take to my bed and rest, rather than try to push through the illness.  That alone has been lovely.

And with that, I'm off to bed again.  I miss writing, but the words just don't seem to flow these days.  I'm feeling alternately frustrated and patient with that, and trusting that at some point they will flow again.

Daily 5 - December 13, 2012

Because thanksgiving is spilling over just now, and nights like this are worth remembering.

I'm thankful for...

1. quiet mornings sleeping in
2. cuddling under cozy blankets
3. a mattress that doesn't hurt my back and hips
4. studying peacefully and feeling like the material actually makes sense
5. big pots of David's tea, kept warm under a cute tea cozy
6. the color turquoise
7. calendars and lists
8. infant sized fingerprints on my glasses that remind me of giggles, grins, cuddles, and games of "don't let the baby yank the glasses right off your face"
9. friends who feed me and indulge my need for ice cream
10. laughing and more laughing
11. iced tea
12. peanut buster parfaits
13. planning and scheming
14. dreaming about Christmas
15. three-year old boys who kiss me goodbye
16. glitter
17. twinkly lights
18. instagram
19. magic bags
20. bright colors all over in my Christmas decorations

Thanksgiving

It's only 10 am, and I'm curled up in the student centre, with a jacket over my legs, and a scarf around my neck.  I've been here for over two hours, since the early morning class that I scraped myself out of bed for was cancelled.  I found myself a comfy spot, with my tea and scone and settled in.  As I've sat here, I've watched the sun creep up - a dull, wintery sun, fighting hard to break through the clouds that are the remnants of a winter storm overnight.

It's been quiet in this space lately, and, quite frankly, it's probably going to stay that way for a awhile longer.  A casualty of school and life has been writing publicly.  I'm barely finding time to write privately - to process in my journal, and keep up with dear, far-away friends by email.  And right now, the focus of my life needs to be on school, and on honoring some quiet places of pondering, processing, and exploring.  So I walk forward with that.

It's Thanksgiving today for my American friends and family, and it reminds me that I've been less than faithful in keeping up with daily 5 posts as well.  The truth is, after much pondering, I'm saying goodbye to that daily habit - or more accurately, to the daily habit of recording my thanksgiving and smiles in this space.  In the over three years that I've kept daily count, the habit of choosing joy has begun to be deeply ingrained in my soul.  It has altered my internal monologue, taught me the value of choosing gratitude, and given me the ability to celebrate each moment of happiness.  There isn't a day that passes where I don't pause multiple times to mentally note a moment of joy or gratitude.

I think I'll still be here occasionally with those lists, and maybe someday I'll resurrect the daily practice of recording them, but today, I'm saying goodbye to that practice, and ushering it out with a list of smiles that stand out from the last several days.  It seems a good thing to do on a day that one half of my family lineage and so many of my dear friends use to pause and give thanks.

Daily "5":

1. The boy who walks his dog in my neighborhood while riding a unicycle
2. Thanksgiving for a sound mind - especially after two rough hospital shifts caring for a patient with dementia
3. a quiet spot to curl up on this cold morning
4. Anything that has color in the grey colorlessness of winter
5. watching the sun climb the sky today
6. moments of rest
7. a food awesome cooking successes this last week
8. an extra large tea and a wonderful scone for breakfast
9. bus drivers that make it possible for me to avoid winter driving
10. dear sweet friends who have gone out of their way to encourage, pray for and with, and journey alongside me

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Daily 5 - Year 4, Days 72-79

It's been midterm season, and life has been a bit overwhelming for the last week and a bit.  Thus the lack of daily 5 posts.  In their absence, here's an abbreviated list of things (in very random order) that have stood out and made me smile in the last week or so.

Daily 5 - Days 72-79:

1. celebrating a healing anniversary
2. little boy hugs
3. a skype date with friends
4. fun earrings in the mail
5. leftover halloween chocolate
6. days spent curled up under a blanket, resting
7. the continued chance to be learning in clinical
8. an extra hour of sleep (sort of anyway) because of daylight savings time
9. some interesting lecture topics in class
10. worship on campus
11. seeing a young boy out walking his dog... while riding a unicycle
12. a cute rabbit curled up by the stone wall in my parent's front lawn
13. dinner with a friend
14. being sent home with a bottle of wine
15. a weekend where I didn't have to study
16. surviving midterms and doing relatively well on all of them
17. conversations with a nurse on our floor who has become a friend
18. clean drinking water
19. mugs of green tea
20. an iphone to fill hours on buses and trains