- Thankful that I've had a collection of cross-cultural experiences in the past. When a crazy situation in the Toy Shoppe developed today, I'm confident that it was those experiences and the shared experiences of friends that kept me from exploding. Instead, I was able to calmly but firmly handle the situation.
- Finishing work on time after what was an admittedly CRAZY day. It may be the only day this week that that happens, so it's definitely worth celebrating!
- Leftover Chinese food for dinner
- time with my brother T, chatting quietly while we split a pannini for lunch at work
- snarky moments of laughter
- getting to meet some really interesting and fabulous people who show up to volunteer for us at work
- a hot shower
- making a list of "must be dones" for the week to tackle
- actually accomplishing a chunk of the list despite other time demands tonight
- freshly painted toenails
Monday, December 20, 2010
Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 127
Today's Daily 5:
Reverb 10: Day 20 - Beyond Avoidance
Today's Reverb 10 prompt:
December 20 – Beyond Avoidance.
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
(Author: Jake Nickell)
I have in the past been the self-dubbed queen of avoidance. It's a particular skill of mine, avoidance.
But this year was not a year that it actually saw a lot of practice.
Circumstances made the things I would have rather avoided pretty much impossible to ignore.
I mean, when you lose a job you'd thought totally secure, the day after your baby brother's wedding, well, it has a way of forcing your hand. That one forced the "stop and pray and listen to hear what direction to go next" thing that I'd been putting off for far too long.
My moving into grandma's house brought some, um, interesting family stuff to light. No avoiding there either. I was living in the middle of it.
And, this year I made a decision I'd been consciously avoiding for at least five years on one level or another. I'm glad I made that decision, too. (And yes, I am avoiding saying what that decision was! A girl has to have some secrets to share in long skype conversations, or chats over coffee!)
All in all, I'd say it's actually been a year for the opposite of avoidance.
Weird for the self-declared queen.
But a good weird.
Maybe avoidance is a skill that is actually better off collecting dust.
December 20 – Beyond Avoidance.
What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
(Author: Jake Nickell)
I have in the past been the self-dubbed queen of avoidance. It's a particular skill of mine, avoidance.
But this year was not a year that it actually saw a lot of practice.
Circumstances made the things I would have rather avoided pretty much impossible to ignore.
I mean, when you lose a job you'd thought totally secure, the day after your baby brother's wedding, well, it has a way of forcing your hand. That one forced the "stop and pray and listen to hear what direction to go next" thing that I'd been putting off for far too long.
My moving into grandma's house brought some, um, interesting family stuff to light. No avoiding there either. I was living in the middle of it.
And, this year I made a decision I'd been consciously avoiding for at least five years on one level or another. I'm glad I made that decision, too. (And yes, I am avoiding saying what that decision was! A girl has to have some secrets to share in long skype conversations, or chats over coffee!)
All in all, I'd say it's actually been a year for the opposite of avoidance.
Weird for the self-declared queen.
But a good weird.
Maybe avoidance is a skill that is actually better off collecting dust.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Daily 5 - Year 2, Day 126
Today's Daily 5:
- peanut butter toast
- pomegranate green tea
- being there in a moment when it was needed to pray for someone I love
- unexpectedly getting an errand done
- a restful afternoon
- a family gathering that mostly included laughter
- angry birds (yep, finally downloaded it, and now slightly addicted. may have also managed to addict my sister in law and baby brother)
- still loving the reverb 10 prompts
- really enjoying the latest book I'm reading for booksneeze
- chinese food for supper
- a long conversation at dad's church this morning with someone who has been a friend/mentor for years
- getting a christmas card/picture from a favorite family at dad's church to add to my wall of happiness when I get back to my place tomorrow night.
Reverb 10: Day 19 - Healing
Today's Reverb 10 prompt:
December 19 – Healing.
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
(Author: Leonie Allan)
I feel like of all the prompts so far, this one should really be the easiest one for me to form an answer to. I mean, I talk about healing, and my own journey of healing in this space on at least a weekly, if not a daily basis. Healing in general, in all its forms, is one of my favorite topics of discussion, writing, and conversation. And yet, I spent a good chunk of time today wondering how I was going to answer this because so much of the answer is still too deeply personal and internal to share in this public place where people I know, and people I don't show up and read each day.
Here's what I can say - healing came in unexpected forms and places this year. It came in conscious choices. It came mostly in the latter part of the year.
I have particularly found healing in some decisions I made after escaping to California in September. The complete change of scenery gave me the mental, emotional and spiritual space to re-evaluate many things and make decisions about moving forward. I made conscious choices to involve some others in my journey of healing. To seek help where I needed it, and to draw a very unexpected group of people around me to pray and love and support me as I sought to heal. I found incredible healing in discovering that the messyness of life was known by these people, and that I was deeply loved for who I am, and not for what I contribute. I found healing in conversations and prayer, and a continual commitment to seek it out.
I have found healing in the job I'm working at right now. It was another unexpected God thing - He knew before I did that I really needed to be employed for these six weeks, and not trying to fill time at home. I think He knew, too, long before I discovered it, that I needed to be working for a Christian organization that really does put God at the center of what they're doing. An organization that seeks to live out the scriptures that talk about feeding and clothing, and about doing justice and loving mercy and walking humbly with God. After so many years in the position I lost, in a place where in some ways the faith label was just there to garner business, and a lifetime as a pastor's kid, I have found it healing to live in a place where a love for God really is something that is lived out and plays out all around me each and every day.
Honestly, as 2011 comes, I pray that the healing that has begun in 2010 continues. That it comes in ways that surprise me, like this job, and that it comes in those same relationships and choices that have also blessed me.
December 19 – Healing.
What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?
(Author: Leonie Allan)
I feel like of all the prompts so far, this one should really be the easiest one for me to form an answer to. I mean, I talk about healing, and my own journey of healing in this space on at least a weekly, if not a daily basis. Healing in general, in all its forms, is one of my favorite topics of discussion, writing, and conversation. And yet, I spent a good chunk of time today wondering how I was going to answer this because so much of the answer is still too deeply personal and internal to share in this public place where people I know, and people I don't show up and read each day.
Here's what I can say - healing came in unexpected forms and places this year. It came in conscious choices. It came mostly in the latter part of the year.
I have particularly found healing in some decisions I made after escaping to California in September. The complete change of scenery gave me the mental, emotional and spiritual space to re-evaluate many things and make decisions about moving forward. I made conscious choices to involve some others in my journey of healing. To seek help where I needed it, and to draw a very unexpected group of people around me to pray and love and support me as I sought to heal. I found incredible healing in discovering that the messyness of life was known by these people, and that I was deeply loved for who I am, and not for what I contribute. I found healing in conversations and prayer, and a continual commitment to seek it out.
I have found healing in the job I'm working at right now. It was another unexpected God thing - He knew before I did that I really needed to be employed for these six weeks, and not trying to fill time at home. I think He knew, too, long before I discovered it, that I needed to be working for a Christian organization that really does put God at the center of what they're doing. An organization that seeks to live out the scriptures that talk about feeding and clothing, and about doing justice and loving mercy and walking humbly with God. After so many years in the position I lost, in a place where in some ways the faith label was just there to garner business, and a lifetime as a pastor's kid, I have found it healing to live in a place where a love for God really is something that is lived out and plays out all around me each and every day.
Honestly, as 2011 comes, I pray that the healing that has begun in 2010 continues. That it comes in ways that surprise me, like this job, and that it comes in those same relationships and choices that have also blessed me.
I Did It Again
Some time ago now I wrote about a classic foot in mouth moment in my life. It was one of the more ridiculously humorous moments I've had.
I did it again this morning at the same church, with the same person. Perhaps not quite as badly, but it was definitely a case of "same story, second verse."
Sigh.
My internal voice started warning me the second I walked in the door. She was standing right there, waiting. The long time nemesis to my ability to be gracious. The one who has the unique ability to bring forth in me a raging case of foot in mouth disease.
And so my internal voice was talking. "Be careful. Smile. Be polite. Minimal words. Filter."
It didn't work.
I seem to possess the unique ability to shock this woman, even when the things I say aren't all that shocking.
"Are you ready for Christmas," she asked.
I laughed, cheerfully, and answered lightly, honestly, "Nope!"
So far so good.
"Well you know it's going to come anyway, whether you're ready or not!"
(In retrospect, who says something like that?)
Even as I responded again, my internal voice was screaming those same warnings it had been sounding since I entered the building, "Lisa Christine, be polite! Smile! Filter!"
And then the train derailed, though I didn't know it yet.
My mouth opened, ignore the warnings still sounding within me, and I spoke, still with a cheerful tone, "That's okay, I'm not its biggest fan. It can come and go and it will be fine."
Honesty is not the best policy. Sharing a bit of ambivalence over someone's pointed cheer is bad news.
And the shock registered on her face.
I wasn't even going for shock. I've been guilty of shooting for that in the past, but today I was going for the opposite. In this case, I was simply expressing the thought that crossed my mind - that though Christmas is special, I'm just a bit ambivalent about it. Glad for it, but not all that worried about it's coming and going. It really didn't occur to me that this would be a piece of news that would be shocking, or offensive.
But it was.
Sigh. Sometimes I just can't win.
At least this one won't require a report to mom and dad to allay the tattling concern of a well meaning busy body. That, in nearly three decades of navigating this stony pastor's kid journey is a blessing all its own!
I did it again this morning at the same church, with the same person. Perhaps not quite as badly, but it was definitely a case of "same story, second verse."
Sigh.
My internal voice started warning me the second I walked in the door. She was standing right there, waiting. The long time nemesis to my ability to be gracious. The one who has the unique ability to bring forth in me a raging case of foot in mouth disease.
And so my internal voice was talking. "Be careful. Smile. Be polite. Minimal words. Filter."
It didn't work.
I seem to possess the unique ability to shock this woman, even when the things I say aren't all that shocking.
"Are you ready for Christmas," she asked.
I laughed, cheerfully, and answered lightly, honestly, "Nope!"
So far so good.
"Well you know it's going to come anyway, whether you're ready or not!"
(In retrospect, who says something like that?)
Even as I responded again, my internal voice was screaming those same warnings it had been sounding since I entered the building, "Lisa Christine, be polite! Smile! Filter!"
And then the train derailed, though I didn't know it yet.
My mouth opened, ignore the warnings still sounding within me, and I spoke, still with a cheerful tone, "That's okay, I'm not its biggest fan. It can come and go and it will be fine."
Honesty is not the best policy. Sharing a bit of ambivalence over someone's pointed cheer is bad news.
And the shock registered on her face.
I wasn't even going for shock. I've been guilty of shooting for that in the past, but today I was going for the opposite. In this case, I was simply expressing the thought that crossed my mind - that though Christmas is special, I'm just a bit ambivalent about it. Glad for it, but not all that worried about it's coming and going. It really didn't occur to me that this would be a piece of news that would be shocking, or offensive.
But it was.
Sigh. Sometimes I just can't win.
At least this one won't require a report to mom and dad to allay the tattling concern of a well meaning busy body. That, in nearly three decades of navigating this stony pastor's kid journey is a blessing all its own!
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