One More Picture

This adding pictures business is just too much fun! I couldn't resist. This is the three of us at the wedding. That would be the bride in the middle. I've known her since birth, and she is the first of my long time friends to get married. It was almost surreal - to know that we're hitting that "grown up" age where we do things like graduate from university, and get married and stuff like that. I don't know if I'm ready to be a "grown up." But, she was. And she looked beautiful doing it!

Good Friends

This is the friend who gave up her evening to dye my hair. That's her on the left. That would be me on the right. I can't seem to ever have my eyes open in pictures. This was taken a couple weeks ago, at the wedding of one of our mutual friends.

Random Update

Hmm... I've got some random things to list today:

• I'm still sleeping on the basement floor. My dog has been ill, and has been sticking his face into mine at ridiculously early hours to get me to let him outside. If I ignore him, he sits right behind my pillow and whines until I get up.
• Since I'm still sleeping on the floor, it should be obvious that we're still renovating.
• My dad decided we need to paint my bedroom too. This is why I'm still sleeping on the basement floor instead of my bedroom floor.
• I'm going to paint my bedroom blue. I never thought of myself as a blue person, but it matches the funky new batique bedding I bought.
• I had Vietnamese food for dinner. I love Vietnamese food.
• I went for dinner with one of my oldest friends. She very graciously came over at short notice to help me dye my hair.
• I've temporarily become a red-head. It will last for 9-12 shampoos according to the package. I'm not used to it yet, but I think I like it.
• The motivation for dying my hair was halloween. I was having a hard time coming up with a costume, so I dyed my hair.
• I came up with a costume. A nurse friend is going to loan me a set of her scrubs and her stethoscope, and voila - easy costume and I'm a nurse.
• I'm pumped to be going to a Steve Bell concert with my brother on Saturday night.
• I was using the concert as an excuse to avoid a halloween party.
• I hate halloween - I hate having to come up with a costume, and will willingly skip a party to avoid the trouble of creating a costume.
• I got found out by the host of the party I was trying to avoid having to have a costume for.
• I was informed that I'd better show up after the concert at his party.
• I was also told that I had a choice, I could either wear a costume or dance at his party.
• I hate dancing.
• I hate wearing costumes.
• I'm dressing as a nurse - the costume is the lesser of the two evils.
• I will be a redhaired nurse. Crazy.

Updating

So... I figured I should update the links on my blog here...
I've changed a couple addresses to be a bit more current, and I've added the blogs and places I frequent on a daily or nearly daily basis. If you think you should be on my list, let me know!

in that moment...

I didn't quite know what to do in that moment. She sat next to me, tears pouring down her cheeks, sitting with her knees drawn to her chin, and her arms wrapped around her knees. This is not an easy position to hold in one of those old-school unpadded wooden church pews.

I already knew things were not going well, that her life, like mine, had taken a drastic downturn in the past couple of weeks, and that survival was the only real goal - not thriving, but just making it from one moment to the next. We had spoken for only a few moments, but her trembling body, her haunted eyes and her words told me much about the state of life and emotion she was facing.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but hesistated for a moment. A thousand things played through my mind. The first was one my mother taught me long ago - victims of abuse don't always welcome being held. And, a far more shameful thought - she struggles with bisexuality, and I am slightly afraid to hold her.

And yet, I did, I wrapped my arms around her, buried my face in her shoulder and held her. I felt I had very little to offer but my physical presence, and could only hope that it would be some comfort. I knew I needed to pray, but felt so completely inadequate. I whispered in her ear as the music and talking went on around us. "God, take this fear - stop the nightmares. Bring healing and peace..." and a host of other prayers. My heart was shattering with every word. And yet, I felt almost hypocritical praying these things. I have prayed them so many times over my own life, and had others pray them, and nothing has happened. I said all the right words, and believed that very few of them would happen. I hoped only that they served as balm to a broken heart - as a reminder that she was not alone.

My prayer is this, that God would take this tiny mustard seed of belief. That He would honor the whispered prayers that have flowed from my mind as the images from that night have followed me into the week, haunting my thoughts. That He would hear the cry of my heart for her, for me, and not the inadequate words of my mouth. Lord, I believe, help Thou my unbelief.