Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Reverb 10: Day 21 - Future Self

Today's Reverb 10 Prompt:

December 21 – Future Self.

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

(Author: Jenny Blake)

Ugh.  I'm notoriously bad at the whole "what do you want life to look like five years from now" question.  I think I'm even less confident in my ability to answer that sort of question after spending 2010 watching the complete deconstruction of the answers I once would have given to those sorts of questions.

That said, the advice I'd give my current self for the year ahead is to just keep trusting.  To rest.  To be patient.  To continue to get better at allowing change to happen without the formerly obligatory meltdowns.  I'd advise me to study well, and put effort into school, because it will make a difference in the job I end up in, and the fulfillment of dreams.

It's a little easier to answer the question of what I'd say to myself five or ten years ago.  The big one would be to study a little harder that last semester of university.  Yes, the people you're supporting are important, but those grades are going to have an impact that you really can't imagine a few years down the road, and it would be worth it to study a bit harder.

I'd tell myself that it's okay to seek out joy, and live amidst that.  I'd tell myself that healing is coming in radical ways, and that I could probably speed the process up if I'd be a bit more willing to ask for help.  I'd tell myself to choose relationships that feed the soul instead of sapping energy from it.  I'd tell myself that the church I'm attending doesn't matter so much as whether or not God put it in my path.  I'd tell myself that some of the things coming wouldn't look anything like what I'd dreamed they would, but that the wounds they carried with them would eventually heal.  I'd tell myself to soak in the atmosphere in Europe, and not be so overwhelmed, to be joyful instead of afraid.  I'd tell myself to be gentle with myself, to have an opinion, to please people a little less and recognize my own needs a little bit more.  And I'd tell myself that I have time to learn all these things, and that it's okay if I don't get them right away.