Thursday, November 04, 2010

A Growing Confidence

I'm sitting on the bus writing this. For the fifth time in six days I hopped on a bus that takes about three hours to make a complete circuit, and spend time reading, thinking and praying. I'm grateful that I have the time and space in my life to do that right now.

My thoughts are quieter right now, and mostly not for public consumption. All the reading has been helpful.

I'm still living in limbo on so many fronts, but this week I am somehow managing to be more at peace with that. To live in that place and do more than simply exist.

I'm dreaming again - looking forward. Knowing in a way that somehow defies words that even if things don't work out as I hope and long and pray for them to, I'll be okay. More than okay, actually.

I'm being made new. Made whole. I'm walking out the journey of healing that I celebrated earlier this week, the journey that has spanned the last five years, in new ways. In ways that are deep and defy public explanation.

There is a deep and growing confidence within me that I am worthy, and that I am loved.

And that, I think, is a pretty special place to be living.


tea said...

This makes my heart warm. I am so glad for you and what you're experiencing. That is beautiful! <3

christianne said...

Yes, indeed, that is quite a special place to be living.

It made me smile to read that you've been making a habit of that 3-hour journey around town in the bus in order to read and pray. Oh, how I love that idea!

PS: I've been getting caught up on your Daily 5s from this week and keep wanting to ask, "What books are you reading??" (Because I'm such a book-reader myself.) But it sounds like from this post that perhaps that's information you're holding close for now, and I completely respect that.

Just know you have a bookish nerd out here reading your blog who is always interested to hear about the books you're reading and loving and learning from, if you ever find yourself reading a book that's worth sharing about. :) xoxo

Lisa said...

Tea - Thanks!

Christianne - there's a list of the books I've finished this year in the left sidebar of my blog, under the list of links :) And several of the books from this week will likely become blog posts in the near future as well! The only one that I've read on the bus this week that isn't listed there yet is one by Francis Chan, called "Crazy Love" and it's not listed because I haven't finished it - we're reading it chapter by chapter with my house church :)

love that there's another bookish nerd out there!

hugs to both of you!