Subject Lines and Fortune Cookie Wisdom

Have I ever mentioned that God has this tendency to send me email?  And talk to me with fortune cookies after Chinese takeout? I have a long history of awkward, funny, or convicting moments.

The following are some of the subject lines that popped up in my email over the weekend and the last day or two:

Tough Seasons Grow Us Up

A Wild Wilderness Ride

Have I found a way to take my struggles and pain to God?

Where do I abide?

You will be SAFE in the Eye of the Storm.

Then there were a few blog posts today that hit hard.

This quote from Walter Bruggemann at Marko's blog.  "Mature personhood does not come by pilgrimages of continuity, but by abrasion, disruption, and discontinuity which shatter our grasp of things and make us, at key points, not the initiators but the recipients of gifts and surprises that we often do not want to receive."

These thoughts on insecurity at Grit and Glory.

And there was the fortune cookie.  Keep in mind that I opened this fortune cookie, leftover from Chinese takeout the night before, after spending a good solid hour sobbing, talking with someone about some rampant insecurities, and self image/self confidence issues that are resurfacing in my life right now.

The fortune read: "Your qualities overshadow your weaknesses."

What made the fortune cookie even more hilarious is the fact that, as I paused to open it, I remembered several significant moments in the past where the fortune in a cookie like that has been a clear confirmation of direction.  I can't decide if I was hoping for encouragement this time, or just a dud.  Because I was definitely not really wanting to hear from God.  I was (maybe am still, depending on the moment) pretty mad at him, at his timing, at how my life is looking in the present moment.  And then my fortune confirmed what the person I'd been talking with had spent a good chunk of time trying to hear me.  And confirmed it in that, "this is not a coincidence" way, simply because I'd been reminded as I cracked open the cookie of just how often Jesus has decided to entertain himself by padding my fortune cookies with his messages to me. 

So, I guess that leaves me in a place of either trusting all these not-so-subtle messages, or of trying to ignore a point that is being clearly communicated.  My choice.  Probably not a hard one to make, though perhaps one that is harder to live, but again, an underscoring of the theme of choice that is making itself clear.