Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Having One of Those Days

I'm having one of those days...

The distracted kind.

The kind where the painful personal stuff on my mind looms far bigger than the stuff (school work, mostly) that I really need to be focusing on.

The kind where you know the personal stuff needs some attention, but you just don't know exactly what kind of attention to give it, or what the next step in giving it attention, and stepping towards healing, is.

The fact that I'm less than engaged with the studying I've been buried in this morning - statistics - isn't helping.

I am not a math person.  Or at least not a "any math that involves more than basic addition or subtraction" kind of person.

And statistics requires formulas.  Lots of them.  I find myself constantly turning pages, knowing I should know what that letter in the formula represents, and that the problem contains the value to fill that letter in.  But I just can't remember what the letter is. 

It's going to be a very good thing that you can bring a double-sided sheet of notes and formulas into the exams for this class.  It's really my only hope.

And so, I'm off to give the personal a little attention.  I'll walk to the mailbox to mail a letter, and pause to just listen and pray.  I want to walk before the threatening thunder shower comes.

And hopefully, if I pause to pray and listen, the personal stuff will feel quieted, and I can focus.

Because I have many hours of studying ahead today.  And then a couple hours of a leadership training course tonight.

And distracted and discombobulated doesn't work well for either of those pursuits.


kirsten michelle said...

I'm sorry you're having one of *those* days. I hope the chaos will settled, the cacophony become quiet, and that you can get the space you need to breathe. And think. And focus.

Lisa said...

thanks Kirsten... walking helped, and finishing a section of studying that really needed to be done helped... and then yoga and a long shower helped too... my head and heart are quieter now, and for that I'm really grateful.