Sunday, February 28, 2010

Please Don't Ask

The actual move itself went very smoothly.  Very smoothly.  I was so thankful for the help of family and friends who made it such a smooth process.

The transition isn't feeling quite so smooth right now.

My internet wasn't properly connected.  Supposedly it'll be working by late Monday night.  The phone company that is my internet supplier assures me that it's very rare that these kind of problems happen.  Tell that to someone who hasn't had them botch the move of services for three consecutive moves now.

So, I'm borrowing my brother's laptop, and using the internet for a bit at mom and dad's house this afternoon.

Sleep was a pretty fleeting thing last night.  It usually is in a new place, but I've been having sleep issues all week again, and a new place with new noises just made it worse.  The trouble is, that as a rough sleep week drags on, the nightmares sometimes come.  Last night was like that.  I woke about every 20-30 minutes all night, and then capped it off with a nightmare in the early hours of the morning, just before finally waking.

Right now I'm honestly wondering if living at this new place will ever feel like it's my home, or if I'll always feel like a guest there.  And I'm wondering how it will work, living with Grandma.  Every trip upstairs last night - to use the shower, to get a glass of water, necessitated a ten minute conversation.  I've lived there less than twenty-four hours and I'm already feeling like I want to just hide in the basement.  I actually deliberately waited to go upstairs this morning until I was certain that she'd left for church, just because, after a rough night, I wasn't feeling up to her questions and chatter.  I left her house this morning before she was home from church for sort of the same reason.

On the plus side, I did manage to get my clothes at least sorted out this morning.  I know where most of them are, and my basic toiletry items.  So I should be set for the return to work tomorrow.  That, at least is encouraging.

My grandma has apparently told everyone I know about her great excitement that I will be living with her now, and I'm running out of polite and respectful ways to deflect their questions about that when I run into the same people.

Today I'm definitely at, "Please don't ask."


renee altson said...

I'm thinking of & praying for you. Sorry about the night/mare stuff. Yuck. It can be such a horrible cycle. I wish you healing as you give yourself grace and mercy, and discover your path to sleeping comfort. Love.

Lisa said...

thanks friend. last night was a little bit better, something I was extremely grateful for as I climbed out of bed this morning to get ready for another week of work. here's hoping it keeps getting better from here for a while :)