Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Stories, tea, exhaustion

I'm in that place where exhaustion has hit in a major way.

But my insides are speeded up and running in circles, refusing to be still.

The running on adrenaline place.

I had tea with T.'s girlfriend tonight to catch up after a summer in which we've both been incredibly busy.

As we talked, and I listened to my own recounting of the month of August, I was stunned at everything that has gone.

Most days I just sit in the slightly spun awe at the way my world is shaped right now.

At the crazyness of God and life and everything in between. (Though, as I write that, something wonders if there is really a need for any of those distinctions, if God and life and the inbetween aren't really one ineffable, undefinable whole...)

I told God stories and was amazed. I listened to her recountings and was equally empathetic and amazed.

But I am tired.

I told my roommate at dinner that if I had my way, I'd already be on my way to bed. You need to know me to understand that statement. I am definitely a night owl.

It's not yet 9 pm. I'll be in bed by about 9:15, with my lights out by 10, barring anything unforseen.

The plan is to do something quiet and still. To maybe read a little, watch a dvd, or just lay and let music play.

Because I need to still the spinning of my mind. The thousand directions it's going in the midst of this crazy, beautiful, incredibly busy time. If I can still it just a little, I may sleep. And sleep would be lovely.