Just Be.

I'm going to have a "just be" sort of day today. Or at least I'm going to try for that.

No obsessive worrying about doing. Just be me.

And, to borrow advice from Anne Lamott, I'm going to take it bird by bird.

I'm pretty tired.

And a bit lonely and at loose ends.

I had a long and involved dream about a friend last night. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I think it's mostly just my mind's way of processing a shifting in the relationship. Not necessarily a bad shifting, but one that hurts right now.

I think I'm going to go to the zoo. I need a "hanging out with the gorillas" fix. I love the gorilla exhibit. It is the one place on earth (other than wrapped in a hug from a dear friend who lives far away) where I can go and feel peaceful. It doesn't matter how many or few people are there. It's a peaceful spot, and I visit it often early on Sunday mornings.

And then I think I'm going to come home and make myself pancakes. Which my brain tells me is not a practical idea, given all the other leftovers I have in our fridge. But I kind of really want pancakes. They're sort of a joyful thing for me. So I'll probably make some pancakes.

It's a new day. New week. New month. Praying that 2009 shifts today. That it begins to be better.