Change Coming

There's change coming. I'm pretty sure there is. At least I hope there is. Can you believe that I just said that? I, Lisa, the one who hates change with a passion? I need some change. Some positive change.

A friend asked me a question last night that's niggling. "Do you still think it's a good idea for you to be friends with so and so? Everytime I've seen you there's been something going on with them that's making you unhappy." Is friendship really always about me being happy? Because, to be fair, there are a lot of my friendships that are in tough places right now, but I don't think I'm ready to write them off. But does there come a point when it really is more healthy, even if you still love the person, to let the friendship come to an end? Or at least to a pause?

My friend Karla Adolphe (of Jacob and Lily fame!) wrote the following lyrics on her first album:

I cannot stop the bleeding
the lie, the lie is becoming convincing
I'm tired, I'm tired of the nights with no sunrise
Oh inside, that's how I'm feeling

I sent them to a friend last night, commenting that they'd struck me deeply as I was driving home last night.

Yesterday was a rough day. A really rough day. I need to not have days like that quite so regularly.

I think my heart is in a good space. I know the nearness of Jesus in deep ways, and I feel him shifting things, making more and more room for himself. But it hurts an awful lot right now. I told another friend last night that I'm glad that God is working, but I'd be thrilled if things would even out for a little while to let me catch up on some rest.

I'm tired. And I'm ready for a change. (Preferably not a stressful one.)