False Comfort

This has been an odd sort of week.

Things went haywire at work, and on a personal level I've occupied some intense spaces once again.

I'm thinking a lot about idols - what are they for me, and for those I love, and how can they be torn down.

I'm back in a space of fasting and praying. I don't understand why I'm fasting, but I know that I've been asked to fast.

I've been listening to Jason Upton's "Dying Star" album again lately, and as I drove this morning it was speaking deeply to my heart again, summing up themes of the week.

I was particularly caught by this line from the song "Burning in the Sky":

Sometimes to trust in your false comfort
Is easier than trusting me...

Over and over and over again I'm encountering this theme of tearing things down, of laying everything down before the Lord.

Trust is not something I'm particularly good at. And this has definitely been a week where the Lord has been calling me to trust him in new and far deeper ways. It's so much easier to cling to what I know, than to trust him with what I don't.

And yet, I keep coming back to the many verses of scripture I've encountered lately that speak of obedience - obedience as far better than sacrifice.

And so, I'm working to trust him, and not my false comfort.

Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.