Reeling

Just when I think I might actually get a break for a couple of days from the intensity of some of the stuff that's been going on over the last while, just when everything seems like there's a possibility of stuff calming down for a day or two, another wave breaks.

I'm beginning to become an expert at surviving the waves that have been crashing over me this last while. I'm getting quicker at moving from stunned to picking myself back up.

Another wave broke this afternoon - smaller this time, but still enough to knock my feet out from under me yet again and leave me reeling.

And I found myself clicking through my itunes library, randomly choosing songs, hoping to find something to provide a soundtrack that fit my mood, that would let me start talking with Jesus about this latest thing, that would let me pull my feet back under me.

The song I came across? "Sweet Mercies" by David Ruis.

It's our confession Lord, that we are weak
So very weak, but You are strong
And though we've nothing Lord, to lay at your feet
We come to Your feet and say, "Help us along"

A broken heart and a contrite spirit
You have yet to deny
Your heart of mercy beats with love's strong current
Let the river flow by your Spirit now, Lord we cry

Let Your mercies fall from heaven
Sweet mercies flow from heaven
New mercies for today
Shower them down Lord as we pray
Let Your mercies fall from heaven
Sweet mercies flow from heaven
New mercies for today
Shower them down Lord as we pray

Call for the rain
Call for the rain

And so, I lay facedown on my living room carpet, and let this prayer flow over me. Let the song cry out, and my heart echo it's cry. It helped a little.

Jesus send your rain. Shower mercies on me today. Send peace and light and hope. I'm weak - send strength. My heart is broken, piece me slowly back together.