he anoints my head...

I was standing under the shower a little while ago, talking with Jesus. I do some of my best praying, standing there alone, under the hot water, with no other distractions.

This morning I was talking to him about a commitment I've made to teach Sunday School until Christmas... one that will tie up three Sunday mornings a month... one that I made on impulse, and regret, just a little... I love the girls, but my schedule is full, and the idea of preparing one extra lesson most weeks is making me tired right now as I adapt to many other changes and drains on my time and energy (most of which make me feel far more alive than sitting in a French elementary school library on Sunday mornings and trying to teach).

So I stood under the shower and talked with Jesus. I told him I was tired, and worn out, and that I wasn't even feeling excited about talking about him to this group of girls this morning, that I really wanted to stay home and do laundry, and clean off my desk, and create some mental space for heading into a new week. I told Him that he was going to have to give me energy and enthusiasm and strength enough for what promises to be a busy day, without much margin for creating space.

And I began to hear a line from Scripture... "he anoints my head with oil". So I stood there under the shower, and let the warm water run down my face, and prayed that He would anoint my head as I go into this day...

A few weeks ago, a dear friend quite literally anointed my head and hands with oil, praying silently for me as we prepared to enter into an evening of prayer and ministry. It's a memory I treasure, though she never spoke a word aloud. I felt her prayers in the deep places of my spirit, and I remember that night as a bit of a turning point, as I once again engaged in new things in prayer, as one in which I allowed Jesus to draw me deeper into Himself, and thus make me more fully myself, for I've discovered that the moments when I'm most alive, most myself, are the moments when I am most deeply connected to what Jesus is doing in a time or place.

When I got out of the shower, I googled the passage of scripture I'd been hearing. It took some work, since apparently I was hearing a mixture of versions, but I found this, a line from Psalm 23, in the New Living Translation...

"You honor me by anointing my head with oil."

I love the concept of honor. Such a deep and beautiful thing... I feel a little bit as if Jesus is telling me this morning that he will honor my commitment, that He will be present, and pour his anointing over the morning.

As for the intensity of the commitment - I'm going to talk to the guy in charge of Sunday school this morning, and tell him that we need to find another teacher, even if they only want to do one Sunday a month. I've got curriculum for them, but I need to teach at least one less time a month... We either need to find one more teacher, or the girls can sit in the sermon twice a month instead of only once.