At the edge of conciousness

I’ve been noticing a lot lately how topics of conversation, transitions in the physical realm, these sorts of things, can stir things in the spiritual realm. I’m not sure I understand this, but am becoming very aware of it in my own life. I had some conversations over the weekend that stirred some things I don’t understand, and the very physical transition of moving has also stirred a great number of things – some that I understand and some I don’t.

These days I feel like I’m floating a bit around the edges of some things. Not even exactly sure what those things are. Random things, poking and prodding, rattling at the edge of my consciousness. I’m dreaming every morning, just before I wake again, and am back to praying with some degree of vigilance before I fall asleep each night – warding off the onslaught of fears that come as I begin to drift towards sleep. The morning dreams are once again the frustrating kind – the ones where I wake unsettled, knowing something of importance was going on in the dreams, but was/is just beyond my reach. This morning was particularly bad. I snapped awake from an intense dream when my alarm clock rang, but retained only the adrenaline and edgy fear from whatever was happening in the dream.

I’m praying that something will break, and clarity will emerge. That only Jesus will have access to my dreams, and that I will be able to receive that which He speaks.

I’m praying for safety – particularly in my home. For it is there that the onslaught of fear is the strongest.

I’m working to believe the promise spoken over me that was first spoken over Abram “Do not be afraid. I am your shield, your very great reward.”

I have to keep reminding myself that this promise does not mean a life without warfare (the shield an essential element of armor), or even without wounds (for a shield cannot usually cover a person in the entirety), but a life that is held fast, protected from the complete destruction of the evil one, covered by the hands of Jesus.