A Dilemma

I'm trying to decide if I'm going to attend a seminar of sorts tomorrow morning. It runs from 10-2, and the topic is journalling and creative writing. I attended a similar seminar by the woman instructing a number of years ago, and quite throughly enjoyed it. None of this is part of the dilemma.

The thing is, the event is partially being put on by the church I left. They're doing it in conjunction with a number of other groups in Calgary, but it's being held in their building, and a number of their leaders are heavily involved.

This always creates an awkward space for me. I feel like so much was unresolved in my decision to move on from that church, and yet, I still believe in the things they do, and I have tried (though unsucessfully in some cases) to maintain friendships with a number of people there. I ever worked a number of times to meet with leaders in order to resolve some of the unresolved things, but they chose never to respond, and I'm left unsure how to handle it. I have a whole lot harder time ignoring the relational rift when we're together than they do.

I usually try to find someone to go to these sorts of events with. I had planned to go with my best friend, but because of her work schedule, she can't drive me now, and will probably come late. When I go with someone else to these things, at least there's a bit of a buffer zone. It's a lot harder to go on my own. I'll probably still go, but uggh... in some ways I dread the relational tension I know I'll feel, and I wonder if this is really a good way to spend a Saturday?